Am I still loved?
by KaoruTwin-Roxas
Summary: Kaoru found out that he isn't loved anymore. How will he take it? Will the relationship between the two devious twins be officially ruined? Honestly..who knows? What would happen of their mother finds out? Up and Running again!  Reviews are loved! :D
1. Chapter 1

First Fanfic! Yes we needed another HikaxKao story xD Im completely nervous about this..like extremely nervous on how it will be reviewed..if it get reviewed at all..*nervous laugh*

Well anyway..So yea first fanfic.. so please be gentle. I wrote this out of slight depression, but hey..i get some crazy ideas when I'm sad xDD

Horrible summary I know..but Im terrible at writing summaries T.T but its the best I could come up with xD

OH! And Im terrible at writing from Hikarus POV..but i felt i had to add in Hikarus POv xD

Disclaimer! I do not own Hikaru Kaoru, and well Host Club at all *tear* I only own the plot and the emotions expressed by Kaoru xD *nervous laugh

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><p><strong>~Kaoru's POV~<strong>

I sat in the limo on my way home from school with my beloved Hikaru sitting next to me, not even bothering to look at me or hold my hand like he normally does. I stared out the window watching the landscape quickly change by the second and I thought to myself _Does he know it hurts? He's hurting me...I doubt he even cares. He doesn't love me anymore.._ I was shocked when I came across that thought.. _Well it's the truth don't ignore it!_ Tears started to form and eventually fall down my now flushed face. This pain.. It hasn't gone away.. I want it gone.. But I can't lose him! That would be the worst pain I would ever feel. Knowing I've lost my brother, my twin, and most importantly, my lover. The thought of losing him made more tears fall; I couldn't take it anymore. I looked over to my twin (who hasn't seemed to notice my crying) and immediately blurted out without thinking.

"Hikaru do you still love me?''

**~Hikaru's POV~**

''Hikaru do you still love me?'' That one sentence alone was enough to pull me out of my thoughts and I turned to look at my mirror image to see him with tears making, their way down his flushed face. Just by looking at him I wanted to cry myself. I didn't know if I loved him anymore.. Yes I'll always love him like a brother, but the love beyond that.. I just don't know anymore. I wanted to answer him, but I just couldn't bring myself to breaking his pure little heart. I just couldn't do that to my poor innocent little brother. I looked at my crying little twin and opened my mouth to speak but he immediately cut me off from saying anything.

"Hikaru I can tell you don't love me anymore.. Just by how you act and how you always seem to talk about her.''

I looked at him in shock. I really did just love him like a brother. I lost all my love for him and I don't know why, but he found out and I feel terrible. But the truth hurts. ''I'm sorry Kaoru.'' was all I managed to say before Kaoru quickly escaped from the moving limo. I looked at him in shock and tried to make the driver stop, but he refused and turned to see my little brother laying on the ground helpless next to the busy freeway.

**~Kaoru's POV~**

''I'm sorry Kaoru.'' I looked at him, extremely hurt and more tears fell. _That's all he can say! That he's sorry? THAT'S IT_? I couldn't take it anymore! He shattered my heart one too many times already and this time, he's not going to be the one who fixes it. Full of emotions, I swung the limo door open and threw myself out. I heard a slight crack that sent immense pains through my arm and I couldn't feel my wrist. The physical pain could be healed, but could my broken heart? He doesn't love me. He loves her! I'm just his back up and I'm sick and tired of it! If he runs to me after being rejected, I'm not going to care. He deserves to feel all the pain he's put me through! I sighed and began to walk in the direction of the school, holding my arm and crying.

After hours of walking, I finally arrived at Ouran Academy, covered in mud and sweat under the cloak of night. On the way I fell many times straight into the mud... What a fantastic day this was! Having your heart crushed by your very own twin brother, and breaking my wrist. Although that was my fault for jumping out of the limo. But that wasn't what hurt the most, the pain in my heart was tearing at me. It was so painful..

"WHY HAS HE DONE THIS TO ME?"

I screamed to the empty school. I wished I could have been answered. I wanted to know what I did wrong to make him loose his love for me. Did I show my love to much? To less? I want to know. Then again I can't stand being around him anymore. He caused me so much pain..I don't want to deal with him anymore. I began to wander around the empty school aimlessly, still cradling my now throbbing arm. I decided to search the school in hopes of finding something that could help me somehow..

After awhile of searching I found what I had been looking for. A nice shower and a extra uniform which just so happened to be my size. I quickly cleaned myself up and changed into the nice new uniform. I searched around until I came across some gauze to wrap my wrist with, then I found my way to Music Room 3. I walked inside and sat on one of the many couches in the ever so vacant room and started to cry again.

"It hurts Hikaru...what did I do wrong?"

I stayed in the choir room, letting all my emotions run free, until I eventually drifted into a deep sleep.

**~Hikaru's POV~**

As the limo driver refused to stop, all I could do is turn around and look at my poor, helpless twin. I feel terrible for what I have done to him. But it was all true, I don't love him as much as I have before, but I just don't know why. I don't have any feelings for anyone else. God, what's wrong with me? The whole car ride home, I couldn't stop thinking about poor little Kaoru. I hurt him terribly and I doubt I can fix this. I'm such a fool. As the limo pulled up to our mansion, I hoped that Kaoru was there. Once the limo stopped, I quickly ran out of the car to search the house for my brother. I searched and searched, in hopes that Kaoru was home, but sadly, he was no where to be found. I walked into our room and began to worry. What if he didn't survive after he jumped out of the car? Could that have been his way of... Suicide? Tears started to form at that thought, and I decided to try contacting him. I quickly reached for my phone and dialed Kaorus number. I waited and waited for someone to pick up and eventually I heard a faint.

"Hello?"

Thinking it was Kaoru, I immediately started asking questions.

"Kaoru! Are you okay? Where are you? You need to come home! I'll ha-"

I was cut off as the voice said,

"Hikaru? Is something wrong? What happened to Kaoru?"

I realized that I had called Tamaki instead of Kaoru and tears formed and I quickly hung up and threw my phone against the wall.

"Kaoru I'm sorry! Please come home!"

I yelled this over and over hoping that he could hear me and find his way home, but I knew it was hopeless in finding my brother.

~The Next Morning~

I slowly began to wake up. It was a Wednesday morning with the sun already risen, filling the room with rays of sunlight making their way through the heavy draped windows. I slowly opened my eyes while yawning and sat up. For a brief moment, I thought that Kaoru was laying next to me, but then I remembered... I had broken his heart and he had fled from me in hurt and disgust. I had tried to go search for him, but I wasn't allowed out of the house, so I spent all night worrying about Kaoru until I fell asleep. I feel so terrible for what I had done to my brother, but this just couldn't of been avoided. I quickly showered and dressed for school and pretended like it was just another normal happy day. The maids quickly prepared my breakfast, which consisted of tea and scrambled eggs. I wasn't that hungry, so my food was left untouched, except for the parts of where I had pushed over with a fork, as I made my way to the limo.

As the limo pulled up to Ouran Academy, I quickly hurried out of the limo and rushed into the school. I prayed that my brother would be here, but sadly I could not find him, so I sat through the day wondering and worrying about Kaoru.

**~Kaorus POV~**

I slowly began to awaken to the sound of chatter and laughter outside of the music room. After some time, the noise began to fade. Then I slowly sat up, yawned and, hesitantly, opened my eyes. My eyes quickly adjusted to the light, and as I looked around, I realized someone had been in here. Whoever it was had given me a blanket and a very comfy pillow. At first I thought it could have been Hikaru. But then I remembered. He doesn't love me and I doubt he would do anything like this for me. I got up off the rather uncomfortable couch and I thought to myself, I wonder who could have done this..It was very kind of them to go out of their way and give these to me. I smiled faintly and walked around the room and thought, I wonder what time it is. I searched around for a clock but there was none in the room. I let out a soft sigh and said,

"I'll just have to go check outside of the room and maybe I can get out of the school without seeing Hikaru... Or pray I don't run into him."

On the inside, I actually wanted to see him and confront him to see where I messed up, but I didn't know how things would go, so I planned to avoid him as best as I could. I slowly made my way to the door, hesitantly opened it to find the hallways empty. I sighed in relief, knowing that everyone was in class. Including Hikaru. I wondered around the empty halls and realized I was walking towards my class. As I approached the door I thought, Do I really want to see his face? The one that broke my heart... Caused me pain...? I let out a soft sigh, trying to push aside my feelings and I looked through the small window on the door. Almost instantly I saw him. He looked as happy as he normally did and some tears fell and I said softly, That shows he doesn't care. What he did doesn't affect him... At all. I watched him laugh and smile for about a minute or two then Haruhi noticed me. She looked at me then said something to Hikaru and almost instantly he turned around and looked at me. His eyes instantly widened and he rushed to the door. I was already running away from the door in tears as I thought, He was having so much fun with her... I should just let them be... Even if it hurts.

At that moment...all I could do was run.

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><p>Annnnnd End of first chapter! Was it good bad terrible..or what?<p>

Review pleasee! :]

May add more later..but the later chapters are in the works..


	2. Chapter 2

Yay! Chapter 2! This makes me rather happy :D

**Thank you for the reviews **

They made my day! :)

But I didnt want to leave you guys hanging. xD

Ill be EXTREMELY slow to update due to writers block, no computer, aaannnddd school issues -.-'' Just for a few weeks..I promise!

But Ill continue to work on the story no doubt!

Kayy enough chatter.. On With The Story!

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><p><em>Chapter 2.<em>

**~Hikarus POV~**

I sighed as the English lesson slowly ended. This day was going by so extremely slowly. I wanted to get home immediately to see if Kaoru was there. I have been worrying about him ever since he jumped out of our limo yesterday. I hope he was okay I can't stand to see my brother hurt. All this is my fault. I fell out of love and hurt my dearest Kaoru.

Well no... I couldn't help falling out of love with him. It just happened.

I feel terrible. Yes I have fallen out of love with Kaoru, but that doesn't mean I still have some feelings for him. He is also my bother so I will always love him. Always, but only as a brother..

I was so intensely in thought; I didn't realize that Haruhi was trying to get my attention.

Once she waved her hand in front of my face a few times I snapped out of my thoughts I looked at her and laughed a bit while managing to say,

"I'm sorry Haruhi. I kinda lost myself in my thoughts."

She studied me for a bit while giving me a concerned yet suspicious look.

"Hey Hikaru...is everything okay? You've acted a lot differently today...like something really bad happened. And Kaoru isn't here."

I looked at her and sighed softly I can't keep things from Haruhi she's figures things out even if I don't talk about it, she's too smart.

"Actually Haruhi...something did happen between me and Kaoru yesterday, but I really don't want to talk about it. I'm sorry."

She looked at me sadly and she opened her mouth to say something, but then her gaze suddenly fell to the window in the door and I looked at her funny.

"Haruhi is someth-"

She cut me off and looked at me.

"Hikaru I'm not sure what happened between you and Kaoru yesterday, but he looks extremely hurt. I think you need to talk with him soon, like really soon."

I looked at her in complete confusion for a few moments then turned to look through the window on the door, and there I saw Kaoru. His expression was full of hurt and suffering. His eyes were red and puffy, which meant he had been crying for several hours and he also had many cuts and bruises all over his face. My eyes widened as I continued to study him from the way he looked, it seemed like he had a terrible night.

All thanks to me.

I thought. I mean it was kind of my fault for causing all this. I continued to look at him for a few moments until I saw some tears form in his eyes and eventually fall then he ran away from the door. I felt terrible for what I had done to Kaoru, but it couldn't have been helped no matter how hard we both tried to avoid it. I quickly ran to the door once Kaoru had fled from me yet once again, and I managed to escape out of the classroom to see Kaoru running as fast as he can away from me. It tore me to pieces knowing that I was the one that Kaoru was running from, and that I was the one that caused him so much pain.

I watched him for a moment or two then I ran after him. I wanted to talk to Kaoru about all this; he needed to know the truth. He needed to hear it from me, and nobody else.

"Kaoru please stop!''

I yelled at him in hopes he would actually stop and talk with me, but of course Kaoru being his stubborn little self he continued to run away from me. He actually was a pretty fast runner, and I'm surprised he could still run that fast after jumping out of a moving limo yesterday. Well luckily I was slightly faster so I caught up to him in no time. I saw him flash an extremely hurt look at me, I looked at him sadly and grabbed on to his wrist and stopped running. Once I stopped I griped his wrist tightly and pulled him back with enough force to stop him, he yelled out in pain and dropped to the floor then he immediately started to cry.

"H-Hikaru...please l-let go"

I looked at him and quickly let go of his arm completely confused and concerned then kneeled down to him next to him.

"Kaoru are you okay? What happened to your arm? Does anything else hurt? We should get you to a doc-''

He cut me off and looked at me in tears while barely managing to say through his crying,

"H-Hikaru... What did I d-do to make you stop l-loving me? I-I thought that I-I was doing everything I could to show my l-love and h-happiness. Could there h-have been something I was doing w-wrong?"

I looked at him and thought for awhile. Honestly, he didn't do anything it was all my fault, I think. Could it be Haruhi? I mean I think I feel something towards her. But I didn't think it would affect the relationship between us. Either way, somehow I had fallen out of love with him. This wasn't his fault at all. I stared at the ground thinking of what to say to Kaoru, I didn't want to hurt him more than I already have. He has gone through enough pain, all because me.

**~Kaorus POV~**

I ran away from the classroom as quickly as I could. I prayed that Hikaru wouldn't follow me, but then I heard him yell.

"Kaoru please stop!''

Once I heard him calling out to me I ran faster. I knew Hikaru was a faster runner than I was, but I didn't care. I just wanted to get away from all this suffering, so I ran. I really wanted to talk to him about all this, but then again I didn't. There was to much hurt and pain that I've had to face when being alone with Hikaru so running away and avoiding it all was the best thing I could do. I ran down the hallway praying Hikaru wouldn't catch up to me, but I could hear him getting closer and closer to me. Before I realized it Hikaru was right behind me. I tried to run faster and get away from him, but he grabbed my broken wrist and pulled on it to stop me.

_Pain._

That's all I felt once Hikaru had a tight grip on my arm. I screamed in pain and fell to the floor crying. I could feel Hikaru looking at me in complete confusion and sadness. I looked up at him through tears and softly said,

"H-Hikaru...please l-let go"

He quickly let go of my arm and I held it close to my chest trying to keep it safe from any further harm. As Hikaru began to speak I quickly cut him off with the one question that has been haunting me for the last 24 hours. I looked up at him through tears as I spoke softly.

"H-Hikaru... What did I d-do to make you stop l-loving me? I-I thought that I-I was doing everything I could to show my l-love and h-happiness. Could there h-have been something I was doing w-wrong?"

I tired extremely hard not to cry once those words left my lips, but it was too difficult not to. He didn't love me anymore. I now have no real happiness anymore, it's been taken from me. Hikaru was the one person that made me truly I held back many tears while I waited for an answer from Hikaru, and to my surprise I never got one. He looked at the ground for quite awhile not saying a single word. I let some tears fall then I slowly got up and walk away. I then realized who started this in the first place.

_Haruhi._

This was all _her _fault! Ever since she transfered into Ouran Hikaru acted alot different. He slowly drifted away from me and let her into our world, and that moment he let her in my world crumbled around me. Hikaru began spending more time with her and left me behind. The only alone time we got was when we hosted,and I know those feelings of love were real anymore. _She's _the one who has taken my love from me, and from this moment on I hate her. I glared at the ground and spoke in a low voice,

"That's okay H-Hikaru...I should just let you be happy with Haruhi. I seem to be keeping you from asking her out and loving her, so you don't have to worry about it anymore..."

I sniffed and continued to walk away until I was pulled back and next thing I knew I was in Hikarus arms. Those comforting and loving arms that I have come to know so well. The moment Hikaru pulled me into a long needed hug I could immediately tell something was different... Very different.

This hug, the emotions everything was completely different, and I couldn't tell if that was a good or a bad thing.

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><p>Yay! End of chapter! So whatcha guys think?<p>

Like i said..ill be slow to update..like really slow..but Ill try when I can!

Thanks to everyone who's read this! It means a lot to me :)

Review Please! :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Oh Yes Im Back! ;D**

**With another chapter too! xD**

Sorry for the wait.. But summer is here and ill have more focus time on this! :] Hopefully.. xD

But anyway..This chapter I feel was a bit rushed, But I didnt want to make you guys wait TOOO long xDD

**DISCLAIMER**:Host Club is not mine![sadly] Only the plot and emotions shown by Kaoru xD

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><p>Chapter 3<p>

**~Hikarus POV~**

I sat there on the ground thinking of how to respond to Kaoru. I was completely clueless. I had absolutely no idea of what to do or what to say, so I just sat there trying to figure out what to do. I didn't want to hurt him anymore, but I didn't want to get his hopes up either. I let out an inaudible sigh and kept thinking. There was so much to discuss, I mean I wish I could talk to Kaoru about all this...but I just didn't know how to put it into words. This is terrible. I have no idea what to do! Maybe I should try to talk to him; hopefully I won't sound like a complete idiot.

I thought for another moment or two then I looked up hoping to talk to Kaoru, but his back was turned and he was walking away.

I heard him sniffle before he said,

"That's okay H-Hikaru...I should just let you be happy with Haruhi. I seem to be keeping you from asking her out and loving her, so you don't have to worry about it anymore..."

I looked at him surprised. Me...Love Haruhi? Okay well yea she's cool and all and I like her. I admit it...but love? No that to extreme. Maybe in the future I could love her but right now? Not at all.

I looked at Kaoru sadly then I stood up and grabbed his arm. I was careful to make sure it wasn't his bad arm and I pulled him to me. I hugged Kaoru tightly who immediately buried his face into my chest and cried as I spoke softly while stroking his hair gently,

"Kaoru...I know I've hurt you and honestly I wish I didn't hurt you at all, but the truth couldn't have been avoided you know this too. And I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused. I really am Kaoru."

I heard him sniffle and he looked at me in tears.

"H-Hikaru what have I done wrong? I-I thought that I was showing all my love a-and-"

I wiped his tears and hushed him.

"Kaoru I promise you this isn't your fault at all. I'm just unsure about everything now. I wish I can explain, I just can't seem to put it into words."

He looked at me with tears still falling and he pushed me away.

"Hikaru...Just say you don't love me, and that you don't want to be with me and I'll leave you alone.''

I sighed sadly and looked at Kaoru.

"Kaoru, it's not that I don't love you, it's just well I guess I'm torn between you and...Well Haruhi."

Kaoru looked at me shocked and almost crying again. Before I could say anything else to him, he was already running from me...again.

**~Kaorus POV~**

_*Flash Back*_

_The moment Hikaru pulled me into a long needed hug I could immediately tell something was different... Very different. This hug, the emotions everything was completely different, and I couldn't tell if that was a good or a bad thing._

_*End*_

I looked at Hikaru completely confused for a few moments then I buried my face into his chest and cried softly. Why has all of this happened? What have I done wrong? I continued to cry while Hikaru stroked my hair and spoke softly,

"Kaoru...I know I've hurt you and honestly I wish I didn't hurt you at all, but the truth couldn't have been avoided you know this too. And I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused. I really am Kaoru."

I slowly began to stop crying. I sniffled then looked up at him in tears and spoke in very soft almost like a whisper,

"H-Hikaru what have I done wrong? I-I thought that I was showing all my love a-and-"

He hushed me and lovingly wiped my tears away while saying,

"Kaoru I promise you this isn't your fault at all. I'm just unsure about everything now. I wish I can explain, I just can't seem to put it into words."

I looked at him for a moment or two and thought,

_But...It probably is my fault. I may not seem like it but I'm more childish than Hikaru when it comes to love. Maybe I did or said something that made him fall out of...love._

I thought for awhile then I pushed him away from me and some more tears fell as I said,

""Hikaru...just say you don't love me, and that you don't want to be with me and I'll leave you alone.''

Right after I said that I could immediately feel my heart crack almost in half even more.

_The truth hurts Kaoru_

I thought. It seriously does.

I sniffled and looked at him while he thought. I heard him sigh then he looked at me and said,

"Kaoru, it's not that I don't love you, it's just well I guess I'm torn between you and...Well Haruhi."

I looked at him in complete shock. Haruhi? Are you kidding me? She's just a stupid commoner who has a boring personality, and isn't fun at all! Why the hell would Hikaru like Haruhi? Well that doesn't matter anymore. He doesn't want me, then I won't bother to be around him. This will be the last time he shatters my heart! I almost started to cry again, and then I ran.

If running away from his was all I could do to escape all this, then I would run forever.

I ran down the hallways to the front of the school. I opened the main door and ran out of the school.

_He doesn't love me...He doesn't want me. He doesn't want me. He doesn't want me. He only wants..Her._

This was the only thing that ran through my mind. It was true. I was unloved and unwanted.

Once I ran right out if the school I quickly called for a limo ( Ijust now realizing I had my phone).

The limo arrived roughtly 5 minutes later. I slipped into the back seat, and cried. I cried most of the way home, but the last few minutes I fell in to a deep sleep.

I slowly began to awaken to the sound of someone calling my name.

"Kaoru wake up."

Their voice was soft with a hint of concern and for awhile, I thought it was Hikaru's...

I slowly began to open my eyes.

The room was bright and it hurt my eyes, but I opened them anyway to find one of my maids looking down at me. She looked at me and spoke softly,

"Master Kaoru, I am happy to see that you have finally awakened. I had the nurses attend to your arm while you slept, and upon your request your belongings and such have been moved to this room.''

I looked at her completely baffled.

Since when did I ask to have my stuff moved out of the room that I shared with...Hikaru? Then again that actually could be a good idea.

I sat up slowly and thought,

_Maybe I should avoid him for awhile. It might be a bit hard, but I want him to figure things out. Then he can find me and talk to me._

My eyes watered up at the thought of that while I stared at the bed sheets, then the maid looked at me and said,

"Master Kaoru there are some visitors that are-"

I wiped my eyes and cut her off,

"I don't want to see anyone today tell them not to come"

She looked at me still, and she spoke again.

"But master Kaoru they are-"

I looked up and slightly glared at her almost in tears again,

"I said no visitors. No exceptions. Now leave me be."

She bowed and left the room with the door cracked open just barely.

Right as she left the room I completely broke down. All of this drama with me and Hikaru has been pulling me down farther and farther, and what happened after today I reached my breaking point.

I've cried a lot over the past two days, but this time I cried a lot harder than I ever have before in my life.

"Why have you done this to me H-Hikaru? Why?"

I placed my hand over my heart and dug my nails into my chest, hoping that would take some of my pain. I left deep marks in my chest that eventuality began to bleed. Yes it hurt, but it took away the pain that had been tearing at my heart. I did this for a few hours and eventually I began to scratch at my chest. That left long deep cuts that bled a lot.

I did this for several hours, until heard some one gasp. I looked up to see the entire club (excluding Hikaru) staring at me. It must have been horrible to see. I was covered in blood with deep gashes all over my chest. I looked at them with tears on the brink of crying yet once again. Tamaki walked over to me and looked at me concerend,

"Kaoru..Why have you done this?"

I stared at the bed sheets that also had blood on them and said nothing.

Honey-senpai walked over to me also and talked seriously for once.

"Yea Kao-chan why? Its not good to hurt yourself you know.."

I noded and spoke in a soft voice,

"Talk to Hikaru...Then you'll get your answer''

They looked at me completely confused, and for the second time that night I completly broke down.

**~Hikarus POV~**

I sighed sadly as I watched Kaoru ran. I didn't bother to chase him this time. I told him everything he needed to know so what's the point of chasing after him? I mean really.

I thought for a while then walked back to class. As much as I didn't want to go back I had to. Leaving during class could get me in huge trouble. Even though the lesson was over and there was nothing to do I could still get in big trouble.

Right as I opened the door to my class the bell rang and I sighed. That's just wonderful now I'm going to get in trouble by me teacher, and my mom. Well since my mom is never around I don't think I'll have to worry about her.

Everyone rushed out of the classroom, except Haruhi. I waited for her outside but she never came. I sighed and walked into the classroom. There I saw Haruhi sitting in her seat finishing the last of her notes. I walked over to her leaned against her desk and smiled my usual devious smile,

"Come on Haruhi. We have to get to club soon!"

She sighed while she closed her notebook and stood up. I smiled and walked out of the classroom and headed the direction of Music Room 3 while Haruhi followed close behind. While we walked I could feel her looking at me just full of questions. I sighed and looked at her,

"Haruhi I can tell you courious to what happened between me and Kaoru, but it's not something I really want to talk about okay?"

She looked at me and thought,

"I understand everyone has things they want to keep to themselves, but I dont think this I something that can be left ignored Hikaru."

I sighed. She was completely right. I always took Kaoru witm me everywhere I went. If he is no longer by my side people will wonder, and possibly figure out what happened.

_Ugh I should just tell her.._

Haruhi contintued to look at me and I sighed.

"Okay Haruhi you win. Kaoru found out I dont love him like I used to, and as you can see he took it pretty harshly."

She thought for a bit and said,

"Well Hikaru I could tell you were becoming more distant from Kaoru. You should have told him, intsted of having him find out himself. That's why he took it so harshly."

I looked at the ground sadly and spoke softly,

"The other reason he took it hard is that I said I was torn between him and you."

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><p>O.O'<br>Kaoru..go emo? Oh god..what could happen next I wonder..

But there you have it! :D I still feel this was a bit rushed..i would have written more..but I reached the limit D:

Review? :D They like seriously make my day..im all happy and giggley all day once i get one xD

And they fill me inspiration xD

Kay till next time~

-Kaoru :]


	4. Chapter 4

Halloo! :]

Another chapter for you! :]

My writers block started kicking in so its kinda like blaaaah xD

And I couldn't decide between using Usa-Chan or Bun Bun..so I went with Usa-Chan. Don't hate D:

But hey! **Thanks for all the favorites and story alerts!** :D

Could we throw a review in there now and then? Pretty please? :]

I would love some feedback~! :D

Kay enough ranting~~~

Disclaimer: Nope Nope I dont own host club D: D:

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><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

**~Kaorus POV~**

This was the second time I broke down completely. Although this time I had my loving and concerned friends there to help me pull myself back together.

After several hours of crying, Honey-senpai and Tamaki were the only ones still by my side comforting me. Everyone left after I explained to them everything that had happened. It looked like they didn't care really, even if they didn't they could have shown the least bit of concern.

I sighed sadly and wiped away the rest of my tears. Tamaki was talking about when he got his heart broken, while Honey-senpai was trying to offer me his Usa-chan. My mood slightly lifted while having Tamaki and Honey trying to comfort me. These were the people that truly loved me. They cared about what I was going through, and they stayed by my side in the hardest of times. No one really did that for me. Hikaru used to do this all the time, then we got into high school and everything changed between us.

The thought of Hikaru brought tears to my eyes. Tamaki looked over at me, and almost instantly he saw my tears and he stopped talking and sat next to me.

"Kaoru, I know this is difficult..but you have to move on. If you stay like this who knows what could happen."

He looked at me concerned and touched my complete cut up chest. I winced at his touch I knew exactly what he meant.

"Yea Kao-chan. Even though this happened a few hours ago, there is something completely different about you. Kao-chan you were always the strong one between you and Hika-Chan, but when you reach your breaking point everything changes."

I looked at him confused for a bit then I understood. All if these years I've been the stronger one. Everytime I was emotionally and sometimes physically hurt by Hikaru, or anyone I would take it. It bothered me yes, but I wouldn't show that it hurt. I would just act like I'm okay, but on the inside I wasn't. I held everything in

I sighed and laid down and closed my eyes. Tamaki and Honey looked at me, while Tamaki said,

"Kaoru..is it okay if we stayed here tonight?"

I thought for a bit and nodded slowly while yawning.

"Mhmm you can.. You guys have been here before, just go find a room and make youeelf at home."

They both smiled and stood up while Honey-senpai said,

"Kao-Chan be good okay? We Will come back in the morning to check on you."

I nodded again and yawned while thinking.

_'It's been a long day.'_

Honey and Tamaki left the room and made there way to one if the many spare bedrooms in the house.

Once they were gone I opened my eyes and sat up. I looked at the bed sheets that were still covered in blood and I sighed.

"I'll have someone take care of these later... first I need a shower."

I slowly moved off the bed and made my way to the bathroom. I opened the door and turned on the light. I looked in the mirrior and i was completely shocked. There were deep gashes all over my chest, and partly on my stomach. I studied the cuts carefully and sighed. I would have never thought I woul have done this to myself. Over a heartbreak too! Well then again it did make all my emotional pain just go away like it was nothing at all..

I sighed sadly while walking over to the shower. I opened the glass door and started the water. I waited until it was hot, then I undressed and stepped in. The warm water felt nice. I slowly and carefully washed off all the blood and watched it go down the drain. As soon as all the blood was washed away, i moved to my hair. I took my favorite strawberry sented shampoo, and poured some in my hands and began to wash my hair.

Once I thought that my hair was clean enough I let the water run over my head to rinse all the shampoo out. The shampoo slowly rinsed out of my deep auburn hair. It made its way down to my chest very slowly. Once the shampoo made its way down my chest, and over all my cuts I froze and yelled out in extreme pain. All I could feel at that moment was immense pain. The shampoo made its way into the gashes and it stung badly. My eyes watered at the pain. I hit the wall of the shower, then I quickly shut the water off and stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel. I wrapped the towel around me as I slowly made my way to the door. I was just about to open the door, the I froze when I heard someone running the knocking on the door while saying.

"Kaoru! Kaoru are you okay? Talk to me! Oh god please be okay!''

**~Hikaru's POV~**

I quickly made my way into the music room. I cant believe I just told Haruhi that I was torn between her and Kaoru. What will she think of me now? Will she hate me? What will happen? Will we still be friends? Or will it be all awkward now? I sighed and made my way over to an empty couch. I laid down while closing my eyes and sighing.

_'These last few days have been hell. I hope everything will clear it's self out soon.'_

I lay there in silence for a few moments, then I felt someone lightly tap on my shoulder. I opened my eyes to see Haruhi looking down at me with a bit of a flushed face. Which was actually pretty cute. I sat up and looked at her.

"Did you need me for something Haruhi?"

She looked at me seriously then nodded.

"Okay Hikaru, I'm happy that you finally admitted that you liked me. Its been quite obvious for awhile not, but thats not what were talking about right now. What we are talking about is you and Kaoru. Yes you said you were torn on who to love, but is that really the case Hikaru?"

I looked at her completely confused. Of course it was! I either loved her or Kaoru and at the moment I don't know who I really loved. I opened my mouth to speak, but she continued.

"Hikaru before you say anything I want you to think of this. What if I don't like you back? What if I already liked someone? What would you do?"

I thought for a bit then realized that I would go back to Kaoru. He has always been there for me, even when I was to blind to notice. He was the one that always helped me though tough times. He was the one that will always be by my side, and he will always be there when I need him. He was the one I truly loved.

I looked at the ground sadly and spoke softly,

"I would go back to Kaoru."

Haruhi could tell she was getting to me and she smiled,

"Hikaru I know you dont truly love me. Its just a normal high school crush that will go away eventually, but what you feel for Kaoru is completely different. I know you love him, and he loves you. Hikaru if you saw through him today, you would know that he was hurt inside completely hurt. And after what you told me about what happened after you left the classroom today, I bet you his heart shattered into a million pieces."

I stared at the ground while my eyes started to water. She was right I broke his heart, something I swore I wasn't going to do. I really pray he will talk to me later. This time I want to fix everything, and when I say everything I mean I am going to fix every little thing that has caused our relationship to crumble. Hopefully after I fix this mess I've created that Kaoru and I's relationship will be much stronger.

I wiped my eyes and looked up at Haruhi who was now walking to the door of the club room. I stood up and walked past her while saying,

"Haruhi thank you for helping me straighten everything out. Could you tell Tamaki and everyone else that I'm not going to host today?''

She stopped me while reading a text,

"No need. Tamaki and the others are at your house. The club is closed. Tamaki made the announcement after I explained to him what happeed between you and Kaoru through text."

I smiled faintly at Haruhi in thanks then I quickly walked out of the school and got into my limo. The driver asked me where I wished to go, I thought for a bit then asked him to take me to the nearest apple stand in the city. He nodded and drove, while I sat there pondering through my thoughts. I had no idea what I would say to Kaoru. Would I just say Im sorry and leave? What should I do? I sighed and thought for an hour or so then we arrived at a small little apple stand. I smiled got out of the car and walked up to the people running th stand. I smiled politely while saying,

"May I have a few of you most recently riped green apples?"

The people looked at me and retrieved the apples. They walked back with a bag of two apples and handed it to me. I smiled and paid them then walked back to the limo. I slid into the limo with the bag of apples in my hand, and I ordered the driver to take me home.

After another hour of driving I arrived home. It was already dark, but I didn't care. All that mattered to me was seeing and talking to Kaoru. I asked the maids what room he had moved to. Figuring he would have moved out of our room. They nodded and led me to his room. I thanked them, and they bowed and left. I walked into Kaoru's room still holding the bag of his favorite apples, then I placed the apples on the bed. Hearing that he was in the shower I took the time to make his bed. Right as I began fixing the sheets I saw blood. My eyes widened and I backed away from the bed.

_Blood? Why is there blood on his bed? What has he been doing? _

I panicked. Seriously why would there be blood on the sheets? I thought of many possible reasons why blood would be on his bed, but then my thoughts were cut short. There was a loud scream then a thud that came from the bathroom.

_Oh my gosh..Kaoru!_

I heard the water turn off then I ran to the door and knocked on it several times praying he would answer while half yelling,

"Kaoru! Kaoru are you okay? Talk to me! Oh god please be okay!''

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><p>Yay! End of chapter 4! :]<p>

I love the fact that my Hikaru was nagging on me to go to bed instead of writing this..but hey im stubborn xD

Buuuuut anyway~~

How was it? :o I thought this chapter was well..mmkay..but what do I know?

Review please? :]

**I would love you forever if you review :]**

I seriously want to know how im doing! :D

Till next timee~

-Kaoru :]


	5. Chapter 5

Woot! Another chapter in like 24 hours! :D This is a huge accomplishment for me :]

I felt loved..so thanks to the review and more added fav stories I busted this chapter out :D

While reading over the last chapter found some mistakes D: Im sorry about that guys!

**BTW! This chapter may sound like its the end, but I have a few twists up my sleeve ;]**

**Review if you think I should continue with my plans! :]**

Lol mmkay im done ranting now..

Disclaimer! Nope nope still doesnt own anything xD for the most part.

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><p><strong>~Kaoru's POV~<strong>

"Kaoru! Kaoru are you okay? Talk to me! Oh god please be okay!''

I stared at the door almost in tears, yet once again. Hikaru was the one on the other side of that door. I don't want to see him. I want absolutly nothing to do with him anymore. I wiped my eyes and spoke in a calm soft voice,

"Hikaru I'm fine. Could you just get me some clothes and leave?''

I didn't want him to see what I've done to myself. He would just worry and treat me like a child, and I didnt want anything to do with him ever again. I heard him move away from the door while searching for some clothes. Once he found some clothes he knocked on the door softly and spoke,

"Kaoru would you please come out so you can have your clothes, and we can talk? Please Kaoru I really want to talk to you."

I glared at the door and spoke in a slightly angered tone,

"Why do you want to talk? So you can just shatter my heart again? I've had enough of you doing that to me. Just leave my clothes by the door and get out."

Even though I couldn't see him I knew he had a sad expression on his face. I hoped that got through him, and hopefully he will leave! I heard him sigh then he spoke in a soft voice,

"Kaoru seriously please come out. I want to talk all this over and hopefully fix everything. I've been a huge jerk to you I know, and I want to make everything up to you. So please just come out."

I gave in and sighed. Although I don't really care if he fixes everything or not. I just want to watch him make a big fool of himself. I grabbed another towel and covered my chest, then I unlocked the door to see Hikaru now sitting on my bed. I looked at him sadly and walked over to him,

"Hikaru can I have my clothes please?"

He looked up at me, nodded and handed me my clothes. I saw him give me a funny look then I quickly turned and walk to the bathroom. I felt him staring at me while I walked away. I really prayed he had given me a shirt. I closed the bathroom door and quickly got dressed. Once I had put my pants on I realized he hadn't given me a shirt.

_Shit..now what am I going to do? I can't just walk out and get a shirt..I guess I'll have to ask for one._ _Ugh what a pain._

I walked over to the door and opened it slightly,

"Um..Hikaru could you please get me a shirt"

I heard him get up and walk to the door,

"Kaoru why do you need a shirt? You always sleep without one.."

I thought for a bit hoping to come up with a good excuse.

"U-Um because it's..um cold in this room.."

That was the worst excuse I have ever heard! Who am I kidding? Its freaking hot in this room! Good god how stupid am i? He isn't going to believe a lame excuse like that! I felt Hikaru push on the door hoping that i would let him open it. I pushed on the door also in hopes he would would give in, but he didn't. He was much stronger than I was so he opened the door and looked at me,

"Kaoru are you crazy its-"

His voice trailed off when his eyes met my chest. His jaw dropped and his eyes widened. He pulled me close to him while he carefully studied my chest. My eyes watered as he spoke.

"Kaoru why did you do this to yourself? Its bad for someone to do this to themselves Kaoru"

Some tears fell as I hugged Hikaru tightly and softly cried into his chest,

"Hikaru it hurts! It hurts so bad! Please Hikaru make it the pain go away! Please!"

I cried into his chest while he stoked my hair softly,

"Kaoru love, let it out. I know I've hurt you. Please love let me fix it."

I continued to cry into his chest. I wanted him to fix everything, but then again I didn't. I didn't want to get my heart shattered again by the one I loved most. I looked up at him in tears,

"H-Hikaru what if I do let you fix things? Will you just shatter my heart once again?"

He stayed silent for a quite a while with a thinking face. I looked at him worried and opened my mouth to say something, at that moment I felt his lips on mine. They were soft on my lips, but full of passion. I had no idea what to do! I wanted to kiss him back, but I also wanted to push him away and not deal with this emotional roller coaster. I blushed and pulled away from him.

"Hikaru..Please don't it's too soon for that..you haven't even fixed anything.."

I sniffled while Hikaru looked at me and stroked my face while saying softly,

"Well love, I plan to fix every little thing that I've done to hurt you okay Kaoru? Every single thing!"

I couldn't help but smile faintly. I want to smooth everything out with him and I want our love to last. I looked at him for a few moments then I pulled him to me and kissed him. This kiss was slow, and full of passion. I knew how much I loved him, and I wanted him to know it to.

**~Hikaru's POV~**

Kaoru! Kaoru are you okay? Talk to me! Oh god please be okay!''

Oh my god I really hope he is okay! I wouldn't live with myself to see him hurt! Oh god please Kaoru answer me! I anxiously waited at the door for Kaoru's response. I waited there for a moment or two then I heard a faint voice from the other side of the door.

"Hikaru I'm fine. Could you just get me some clothes and leave?''

Leave? Why would I leave my poor helpless little brother alone? Especially when I have to talk to him. I quickly looked around his room for some clothes. I grabbed his favorite pj pants and walked back to the bathroom door and knocked softly.

"Kaoru would you please come out so you can have your clothes, and we can talk? Please Kaoru I really want to talk to you."

I really did. With all my heart I wanted to completely fix our relationship. After my talk with Haruhi earlier, I realized that I truly did love Kaoru. What me and Kaoru had was something very special and no one could ever take our love. I wanted him, and only him no one could EVER replace my Kaoru. I smiled faintly then I Kaoru spoke in a tone which sounded slightly mad,

"Why do you want to talk? So you can just shatter my heart again? I've had enough of you doing that to me. Just leave my clothes by the door and get out."

Ouch..That actually hurt, but then again I could completely see, why Kaoru didn't want to talk to me. Every time he has talked to me over the past few days I have just broken his heart more and more until it is completely shattered. I felt horrible for what I've done to my poor poor Kaoru, and I wish i could take it all back.

"Kaoru seriously please come out. I want to talk all this over and hopefully fix everything. I've been a huge jerk to you I know, and I want to make everything up to you. So please just come out."

I did. I wanted to make everything right again. I don't want there to be any more heart breaks, or tears. I want everything back the way it was before we entered high school. Just me and Kaoru's own little world where we were happy, and we didn't need anyone but each other. I waited for a little but, then decided to sit on his bed not thinking that he would come out anytime soon. I sat on Kaoru's bed for a few more minutes, then he walked out with a towel covering his chest. I looked at him funny and thought

_I wonder why he would have a towel over his chest like that. I mean guys don't normally do that. Could he be hiding something? If so..I wonder what._

Kaoru walked over and held his hand out to me while saying

"Hikaru can I have my clothes please?"

I nodded slowly still wondering what that towel could be for. I handed him his clothes and he turned and walked back to the bathroom. I thought that was odd to. Kaoru normally didn't care if he changed in front of me. He has to be hiding something. I sat on the bed thinking of that Kaoru could be hiding from me, then I heard him open the door slightly while saying,

"Um..Hikaru could you please get me a shirt"

Okay now he needs a shirt? What could he be hiding? I got up and walked over to the bathroom door and said,

"Kaoru why do you need a shirt? You always sleep without one.."

It was silent for a bit then Kaoru said in a slightly nervous voice,

"U-Um because it's..um cold in this room.."

I looked at the door funny. Cold? Is he serious? Its like extremely hot in this room, and he wants to wear a shirt? Okay thats it. I know he's hiding something and I want to know what it is now. I began to push on the door hoping he would let me in and see what he was up to, but no he pushed back. I was stronger than him so I easily opened the door and I looked at him,

"Kaoru are you crazy its-"

I stopped talking when I saw his chest. It was covered in long deep gashes. My eyes widened and my jaw dropped. Did he do this to himself? If he did why? I could never see my dear innocent little brother doing something like this.

"Kaoru why did you do this to yourself? Its bad for someone to do this to themselves Kaoru"

I looked at him. There were tears falling down his face, then he walked over to me and hugged me tightly. I hugged him back as he cried into my chest while saying,

"Hikaru it hurts! It hurts so bad! Please Hikaru make it the pain go away! Please!"

I looked at him sadly and stroked his hair. All this was my fault. I made him hurt on the inside, and from the looks of it he was hurting badly. I continued to stroke his hair while talking to him softly,

"Kaoru love, let it out. I know I've hurt you. Please love let me fix it."

He kept crying into my chest while I stroked his hair lovingly. I will make sure I fix our relationship. I will do everything and anything I cant to make things right! I heard Kaoru sniffle then he looked up at me in tears.

"H-Hikaru what if I do let you fix things? Will you just shatter my heart once again?"

I looked at him for a while and said nothing. Of course I wont shatter his heart. He is my everything and I want him to know that! I looked at him and thought for another moment or two then I leaned down and kisses him slowly. I wanted him to know that I do still love him, and hopefully this will help a little.

I saw Kaoru blush then he pushed me away and looked at me,

"Hikaru..Please don't it's too soon for that..you haven't even fixed anything.."

I looked at him sadly and stroked his face softly while saying a calm and loving voice,

"Well love, I plan to fix every little thing that I've done to hurt you okay Kaoru? Every single thing!"

I noticed that he smiled. I loved it when he smiles. It shows me that hes happy, and one goal in my life it to keep my love Kaoru happy. Before I could think anymore I felt Kaoru pull me down to him, and he kissed me slowly. At this moment I couldn't even begin to explain how happy I was. I loved Kaoru and he still loves me back. Thats all i ever need in life is his love. Now hopefully I'll be able to fix his shattered little heart.

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><p>This chapter made me all sad :( And I'm now in a lovey mood..Where is my Hikaru when I need her? D: D: D:<p>

Did you guys like it? :D I finally made them kiss xD I wasnt gonna...but hey it had to be done!

**Again it may sound like the end..but i still have those twists ;] **

So~ Review? :]

**More reviews the quicker I write :]**

Mmmkay Ima sleep..since I worked on this all day xD

Night Night!

~Kaoru


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks to all the reviews this morning..I just had to put another chapter up! 

**Depressed or not! **

I was inspired and I felt loved. If this keeps up..the story could be finished in the next few days :o Then I'll need a new story idea to keep me distracted from...T.T nevermind .-.

Oh **Hikaru And Kaoru Loves**- Don't read in class! :o I dun wanna get you in trouble if you do get caught! That would be very bad D: But I'm glad you like it! ^^ Your comment perked up my day!

**Of Kings and Queens**- Well for now.. Things could change if I slip in my ideas :P It all depends..

To everyone else I **LOVE** you guys for the reviews! They made my day no doubt!

Until...Ah ha you know what I'm not going to bring it up. .-.

I'm done talking now.

**Disclaimer**- Still no .-.

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><p><strong>~Kaoru's POV~<strong>

The kiss didn't last very long. I pulled quickly and walked away from him completely blushing. This kiss felt really different. I don't know how or why, it just did. I walked past Hikaru and sat on my bed still blushing. I stared at the sheets that were still covered in blood. I forgot to ask someone to take care of those while I showered, oh well. I felt Hikaru sit behind me. I smiled faintly then he pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms around me. I blushed and he kissed my cheek and looked at me and spoke softly,

"Now Kaoru tell me why exactly you decided to hurt yourself like that?"

He rested his head on my shoulder. I could feel his lips softly brushing against my neck. I held back a blush. He knew I liked it when he kissed my neck, but this was a bad time for this. I thought for a moment then said,

"Because..you hurt me Hikaru. What I did took away all my pain, like it wasn't there.."

My eyes watered. It was all true. By scratching myself like that took away all my pain. Honestly in a way it actually felt good. I don't know why, but it felt good to scratch myself. I looked at Hikaru sadly and he looked back at me and said,

"Kaoru it's seriously not good at all to hurt yourself. If I hurt you or not it's something you shouldn't do okay?"

I got out of his lap and looked at him,

"Hikaru this isn't the first time that you have hurt me. You basically hurt me everyday! You say that's your going to do something with someone else and don't want me there! Or you push me away when your talking with someone. You push me away like I'm nothing! Am I really nothing to you Hikaru? Because you make it seem like it. When you do that..I feel unwanted and unloved by you. It hurts Hikaru it really does, and when you come back to me I push you away also, afraid you'll do it again. You also tell me a lot of things that honestly I don't want to hear at all! Like after you come back from "hanging" out with Haruhi or someone. I could seriously care less how much fun you had, or what you guys did! Why? Because it stabs right through my heart when you do what to me!"

There were now tears falling down my face. This was the truth. He made me feel like I was nothing to him. Not his twin, his brother, or his lover! So I fought back, but where did that get me? In an argument with him on how I was pushing him away. Every time we argued I took what he said. The truth or not he was my twin, and I loved him so I let him yell at me. I looked at Hikaru hoping for him to say something, but he never did. I looked sad then said,

"Hikaru if there isn't anything else we need to could you please leave? I'm tired."

He looked at me sadly and pulled me to him again and he looked at me,

"Kaoru love... Why didn't you tell me any of this earlier? I wouldn't have done that if I knew that it hurt you, and do I seriously push you away when I'm talking with others?"

I looked at him sadly and scooted away from him,

"Yea you do Hikaru. I never told you any of that because I was afraid that you wouldn't do things that make you happy. I didn't want to take your happiness Hikaru. No matter how much pain it caused me, your happiness was a lot more important to me then my pain."

More tears fell and I looked away from him. I never wanted to tell him, I bet he would sacrifice his happiness for me. I didn't want that at all. Hikaru being happy is the most important thing to me. If he sacrifices his happiness for me I would feel terrible. I glanced over at him and saw some tears fall of his own, then he said,

"Kaoru I'm so sorry. I had no idea I was doing that to you. I was hurting you without even knowing. I'm so sorry Kaoru."

I looked at him sadly and laid down. I thought for a bit then I looked at him,

"Hikaru it's not your fault. I didn't want you to know, because I didn't want you to take away your happiness for me, so don't worry about it okay? Its not your fault at all."

He looked at me sadly and laid next to me and pulled me close,

"Kaoru you should know you can tell me anything. No matter if it makes me unhappy or not. We know everything about each other, and I feel like your slipping away from me Kao."

I sighed sadly and snuggled up to him. I actually was pulling myself more and more away from him. Ever since we got into high school, he's been more open with people and letting them into our own private world. Unlike me, I liked having just something me and him shared that no one was a part of. Once we entered high school, that private world that only we shared disappeared. Hikaru let more and more people into our world, until it wasn't just us anymore. I yawned and looked up at Hikaru who was already asleep. I smiled just faintly and thought,

_Hopefully we can talk like this tomorrow to. I missed talking like this with him. _

I leaned up and kissed Hikaru then pulled away slowly while pulling the covers over us. I snuggled up to him more and smiled. I was safe in his arms once again..

**~Hikaru's POV~ **

I couldn't help but smile when Kaoru kissed me. Even though it was a short kiss it showed me that he still loved me even though I basically shattered his heart into a million pieces. Kaoru pulled away from the kiss quickly. I noticed he was blushing, and it was so cute! I wanted to say something, but he walked past me quickly and sat on his bed. God he was so innocent and cute. I smiled and made my way over to him. I sat behind him and pulled him into my lap while I wrapped my arms around him. I thought for a minute or two then I kissed his cheek softly while saying,

"Now Kaoru tell me why exactly you decided to hurt yourself like that?"

I rested my head on his shoulder and kept my lips close to his neck. He always loved it when I kissed his neck. I looked at him while he said softly,

"Because..you hurt me Hikaru. What I did took away all my pain, like it wasn't there.."

I looked at him a bit shocked and mumbled into his neck,

"Kaoru it's seriously not good at all to hurt yourself. If I hurt you or not it's something you shouldn't do okay?"

I could tell his mood slightly changed when I said that. He quickly escaped from me and looked at me.

"Hikaru this isn't the first time that you have hurt me. You basically hurt me everyday! You say that's your going to do something with someone else and don't want me there! Or you push me away when your talking with someone. You push me away like I'm nothing! Am I really nothing to you Hikaru? Because you make it seem like it. When you do that..I feel unwanted and unloved by you. It hurts Hikaru it really does, and when you come back to me I push you away also, afraid you'll do it again. You also tell me a lot of things that honestly I don't want to hear at all! Like after you come back from "hanging" out with Haruhi or someone. I could seriously care less how much fun you had, or what you guys did! Why? Because it stabs right through my heart when you do what to me!"

I was shocked. Did I really hurt him like that all the time? He seriously felt like he was unloved? Is he crazy? He's the only person I truly and completely love! Why would he feel so unloved when he knows exactly how much I loved him? Then after I came home after spending some time with other without him. Did I really go on for a long time explaining what we did, and how much fun we had? I mean I was careful not to talk about my time that I spent with Haruhi and some other friends without him there. Then again, he did like to ask questions about what we did. Though they were simple questions. I sighed and kept thinking. Maybe I did hurt Kaoru a lot, but i didn't know about it until now. Why didn't he tell me this sooner? I mean I would have been more careful on what I said around him. I hated hurting Kaoru, even if I didn't know I was I still hated it. My thoughts were cut short when Kaoru spoke up and said,

"Hikaru if there isn't anything else we need to could you please leave? I'm tired."

I looked at him sadly and pulled him back into my lap while saying,

"Kaoru love... Why didn't you tell me any of this earlier? I wouldn't have done that if I knew that it hurt you, and do I seriously push you away when I'm talking with others?"

He scooted away from me again. I sighed sadly while he spoke,

"Yea you do Hikaru. I never told you any of that because I was afraid that you wouldn't do things that make you happy. I didn't want to take your happiness Hikaru. No matter how much pain it caused me, your happiness was a lot more important to me then my pain."

I looked at him completely confused. Is he joking? He wouldn't be taking away my happiness if he would have told me this earlier. Honestly I would be more happy that he was honest with me, more than if he kept his true feeling away from me. Even if we are in love, that shouldn't change the fact that were twins. I had no idea I was hurting him like this constantly. Some tears fell of my own while saying,

"Kaoru I'm so sorry. I had no idea I was doing that to you. I was hurting you without even knowing. I'm so sorry Kaoru."

I looked at him sadly. I truly had NO way of knowing he was suffering. Kaoru looked sad as he laid down on the bed. After a few moments of silence then Kaoru looked up at me and said,

"Hikaru it's not your fault. I didn't want you to know, because I didn't want you to take away your happiness for me, so don't worry about it okay? Its not your fault at all."

Not my fault? Of course it was my fault! Knowing or not I was hurting Kaoru. I could never forgive myself for that. I lay down next to Kaoru while pulling him close to me.

"Kaoru you should know you can tell me anything. No matter if it makes me unhappy or not. We know everything about each other, and I feel like your slipping away from me Kao."

I heard him sigh. He knew this was true. Ever since the begining of the year Kaoru had slowly started to keep things from me. I didn't pay much attention to it, figuring it wasn't anything big. Well look where that got me. Thought for a while before I began to feel tired myself I looked at Kaoru and smiled faintly before closing my eyes and falling asleep.

Tomorrow there will be much to talk about. I really missed talking like this with Kaoru, because when we talked like this it made me feel like Kaoru and I were back in our own little world again. The very same world that I've come to miss..

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><p>Goodness end of chapter 6. I seriously would have never thought that I would have gotten this far.. I feel semi-happy now.<p>

Next chapter Tamaki and Honey-sempai shall come back in :o

But, I seriously started crying while writing this. It was deep..and most of what Kaoru said is my own personal thoughts towards something... .-.

:o but ssssshhhh I didn't say that..nope your seeing things :o

But Reviews anyone? I enjoy reading them they lighten my mood xD

I tend to keep posting at like midnight or later my time..I find that funny..

So yes Until the next chapter,

~Kaoru.


	7. Chapter 7

Ugh now you guys have gotten me to the point of feeling bad if I don't post a chapter really quickly. xD

But thats mmkay I enjoy writing this anyway :]

Soo the past few days have been **EXTREMELY** hard on me due to many complications. I went through a breakup then my friends found out that the next day they were in a new relationship .-. How lovely.. And thats why ive been upating rather quickly. Except this chapter..They whole relationship crap happened and I was depressed, and REALLY pissed..I mean EXTREMELY D:

I also realized that this fanfic actually goes on what happened in my life :o Have i mentioned that before? omg i dunno anymore...

Mmkay depression rant over. (/.-)

**But dont read in class guys! D: I dun like getting people in trouble :( But it makes me happy that you guys like it that much to read at school ;D**

**Oh yea BTW**- Kaoru's arm I decided to make it sprained, but a pretty bad sprain. Also its almost healed..so I'm kinda dropping that part..i think. I would go back and fix that its sprained..but eeeh to lazy :3 I just felt like you guys had to know that xD

**DISCLAIMER**- Do I need to explain? D:

* * *

><p><strong>~Kaoru's POV~<strong>

I woke the next morning to find Hikaru not next to me. I yawned and sat up while rubbing the sleep away from my eyes. Bright light filled the room, and I was half blinded. As soon as my eyes adjusted to the light I realized that I was back in the room that Hikaru and I shared. I smiled faintly as I looked around. All though I moved out of this room for a few hours, it felt nice to be back. I smiled faintly as I stretched and got out of bed. I walked to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My eyes were red and puffy still from all the crying I had done the night before. I sighed sadly, then I noticed that someone had wrapped my chest with bandages.

_Hikaru most likely had the maids do that while I slept. I wonder if the found my- _

I looked down to my arm and sighed. They found it. I never told anyone, but I've been secretly cutting myself now and then. They weren't very deep cuts, so they were easy to hide from everyone. I sighed sadly while fixing my messed up hair.

_I bet Hikaru will have more questions, if he was the one to find out that I've been cutting myself. _

I managed to make my hair look some what decent, then I walked back to the bedroom. To my surprise I found Tamaki leaning in the doorway looking around,

"So I would think you talked with Hikaru last night..Right?"

I nodded slowly and looked up at him,

"I'm actually pretty surprised how things went. I thought that would tear us more apart, but that's not what happened at all."

I looked at him and smiled while he looked at the ground sadly,

"Kaoru, do you know where Hikaru is now?"

I looked at him like he was an idiot. Of course I didn't know where he was! If I did know I would already be at his side. I sighed and shook my head,

"No I don't Tamaki. Do you know where he is?"

Tamaki gave me an extremely sad look while saying,

"Um actually Kaoru..He's out on a date..with um Haruhi."

I felt a huge wave of jealously run over me. He was with Her? And after all we talked about last night.

"Why would he be on a date with HER?"

I yelled this at the top of my lungs. It echoed thought the halls. I glared at the ground while mumbling some horrible things about Haruhi. I hated her no doubt. She was a bitch who tried to take my Hikaru away from me. I looked up at Tamaki who was smiling. I felt completely confused. Why was he smiling? Was he happy that I felt hurt? I slightly glared at him while he grabbed my well good arm I suppose, and dragged me down the stairs.

"Kaoru lighten up I'm kidding. Hikaru is right here, he didn't go anywhere."

I glared at him still while he laughed. It's not funny to mess with my emotions, especially when things involve Hikaru. I saw him smile as we entered the main living room of the manor. There I saw Hikaru and Honey-Senpai sitting on the couch watching some random show. I smiled and quickly walked over and sat next to Hikaru while kissing his cheek.

"Good morning Hikaru"

He looked at me and smiled while pulling me into his lap. I blushed slightly then he kissed me. I blushed even more and kissed back. For some reason I felt nervous kissing Hikaru around our friends, so I pulled away slowly. Hikaru looked at me confused while stroking my face,

"Something wrong love?"

I looked away from him still bushing and shaking my head. He smiled and pulled my face back to his and he kissed me again, but this kiss was harder and slower. My blush darkened as I kissed him back. We kissed like this for a minute or two until I broke for air. He looked at me smiling while I got out of his lap and sat next to him. We had NEVER kissed like that before. I mean I doubt it was much, but me and him have never kissed like that like ever. It felt pretty nice actually. I giggled a bit, then Honey-Senpai came up to me smiling,

"So Kao-Chan! Are you feeling better today? I sure hope so! So you me Tama-Chan and Hika-Chan can go get some cake!"

I laughed a bit and leaned against Hikaru while looking at Honey,

"I'm feeling great actually! Cake with all of you guys sounds fun actually"

Hikaru wrapped his arm around me and kissed my head. I smiled faintly, and Honey-Senpai jumped around while talking to Usa-Chan about how much fun we will have today. I closed my eyes and rested my head on Hikaru's shoulder while leaning into him more. I sighed happily as he wrapped his arm around me more and kissed my head. I haven't been this relaxed in a very long time. It felt nice to relax with some friends and Hikaru. I closed my eyes and yawned. Hikaru looked at me and spoke softly,

"Kaoru love are you still tired? If so you can go back to sleep."

I yawned again and shook my head,

"No I'm okay I want to stay here with you."

He smiled and kissed my head again. Right as he did so Tamaki sat next to Hikaru. I opened my eyes and looked at him. I saw him look at my arm then he looked at me,

"So Kaoru, How long have you been cutting your arm?"

I noticed Hikaru's eyes widen and he looked at me,

"You have be cutting yourself Kaoru? Oh My God why? And I thought scratching up your chest was enough!"

I sighed and closed my eyes again. Seems like Hikaru wasn't the one who asked the maids to bandage me up. I guess Hikaru didn't know that I cut myself either. Relax time was over, now for the more serious questions. Great.

**~Hikaru's POV~**

I woke up extremely early that morning to get ready for school. Once I had gotten out of bed I decided I wouldn't go. I wanted to stay home and take care of my love. I looked over at my sleeping Kaoru and smiled. God he was so cute. I'm so lucky he was mine. I really don't know what I would do if I didn't have Kaoru by my side. I leaned over him and planted a very soft kiss on his lips. I saw him smile faintly in his sleep, and I could help but smile back. Even while he was sleeping he was so adorable. I thought for a minute or two then I gently picked up the sleeping Kaoru. He woke up slightly while mumbling my name. I smiled and blushed very faintly while walking back to the room that we shared. I placed Kaoru on the bed, where he tossed and turned for a moment or two. I watched him for a little while, then made my way downstairs. To my surprise Tamaki and Honey-Senpai were sitting on the couch watching some tv. I walked over to them and asked,

"Now shouldn't you guys be at school? Instead of in your pj's while watching tv on my couch?"

I saw Honey glare at me so I decided not to bother him, since it was pretty early. I'm even surprised that he's actually up this early. Tamaki looked at me and smiled,

"Well we just had to stay to make sure Kaoru was okay, but it seems you took care of things didn't you?"

I smiled and nodded,

"Of course I did! After a long talk with Haruhi, I realized I didn't lover her like how I loved Kaoru. I would love him always"

Tamaki smiled then continued to watch tv. I sat down next to him and watched also. After a few minuted Tamaki got up and walked upstairs. I looked at him confused, but I shrugged it off and continued to watch this completely random show that Honey picked out. He was all happy and bubbly like he normally was. Which was really weird, considering that he was all grumpy and such a few minutes ago. I sighed and thought,

_I wonder when Kaoru is going to wake up. I want to spend sometime with him._

Right at I thought that I heard Kaoru yell from the top of the stairs,

"Why would he be on a date with HER?"

I sighed and shook my head. I knew Tamaki was playing around with him, but after everything that happened Kaoru could be pretty sensitive. It wasn't smart to mess with his emotions, even if he was happy and this was just another day. I heard Tamaki and Kaoru walk down the stairs. The next thing I knew Kaoru was sitting right next to me while kissing my cheek.

"Good morning Hikaru"

I saw him smile, and I couldn't help but smile back. I quickly pulled Kaoru into my lap, then kissed him softly. He blushed and kissed me back. I couldn't help but smile and pull him closer, while continuing to kiss him. He smiled then got a slightly nervous look on his face while he pulled away. I wondered why he pulled away. Did I do something wrong? Did he not want me to kiss him? Well no I knew he liked it he was smiling. I looked at him confused and stroked his face,

"Something wrong love?"

He shook his head while looking away and blushing. I thought for a bit then pulled his face back to mine, and kissed again. This kiss was different though. This time I kissed him harder and much slower. Kaoru blushed even more, but he kissed back. I smiled while pulling him closer to me. We kissed like this for a few minutes, until Kaoru broke for air. He looked so cute. He had a dark blush covering his cheeks. He giggled bit, then Honey hopped on over while saying.

"So Kao-Chan! Are you feeling better today? I sure hope so! So you me Tama-Chan and Hika-Chan can go get some cake!"

Kaoru laughed while leaning against me and saying.

"I'm feeling great actually! Cake with all of you guys sounds fun actually"

I wrapped my arm around Kaoru and Kissed his head. I'm actually glad he is doing much better. I mean he looked horrible last night. I kissed his head while he leaned into me more. I like having this time with Kaoru. Even if our friends were around I liked having Kaoru at my side, while being lovey. He leaned his head against my shoulder and yawned while closing his eyes. I wrapped my arm around him more and kissed his head softly.

"Kaoru love are you still tired? If so you can go back to sleep."

I heard him yawn as he shook his head,

"No I'm okay I want to stay here with you."

I smiled and kissed his head. God he was so cute. I couldn't express that enough. A moment later Tamaki sat next to us and he looked at Kaoru,

"So Kaoru, How long have you been cutting your arm?"

My eyes widened right when he said that. I looked at Kaoru in shock. So he was cutting himself too? Why would he ever cut himself? He opened his eyes and I looked at him again still in shock,

"You have be cutting yourself Kaoru? Oh My God why? And I thought scratching up your chest was enough!"

He sighed and closed his eyes again. I looked at Tamaki then back at Kaoru. There were things that he wasn't telling me, and I wanted to know them now.

* * *

><p><strong>OMFG I swear I went dubstep crazy in the middle of writing this! I found the BEST KH dubstep :D :D :D <strong>

**Yes yes ima spaz i know..a spazz that WILL find a way to dubstep xD**

And my mood lightened up :D Then I got all depressed again to see that I got dumped..or did I do the dumping? .-. But then I find out they has a new relationship going .-. Just my luck huh? Ugh...Enough about me depression and such..so this may effect the happiness in this fanfic.[Ill try rly hard not to let it! Just a warning though]

Then again...Im actually happy were over...

_**OMFG IM DONE TALKING ABOUT THAT NOW! **_

**Roxas: Good God Kaoru. Annoying your readers with your sappy relationship stories. -facepalm- Idiot.**

**Me: Mmmmkay I love you Rox I really do..But pleaseee shut up .-. **

But anywho~

This kinda seemed like a filler chappie to me..what did you guys think?

I feel like I HAVE to post everyday xD All these good reviews make me feel like it xD

So yush.. Review Please! :D

Your now crazed Kingdom Hearts Fangirl,

~Kaoru

You know..ima start to put Roxas up there :o

-faceplam-


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8? :o Nao I would have NEVER thought that this story would be any good and gotten this far..But hey positive feedback convinced me I just HAD to continue :o

**So Thank You to everyone thats Reviewed, added this to your favorite story list, and for all they story alerts! **

**You guys are the reason I continue this story! :] **

Mmkay with that out of the way.

**I'm wondering who actually reads these notes or whatever? Like really?** I read them now and then on other stories..but who really goes through all the chapters and reads every single one? I was just thinking about that today..so I had to ask. You guys should me if you do! :D It's like _**seriously**_ bothering me now. D:

And while midway of writing this,** Does anyone think this Fanfic should or should have ended already?** I dunno..Im just coming up with haunting questions.. Someone should answer! It will haunt me forever D: D: D:

Mmmkay no life stories and crap this time, there's no need xD

**Roxas: THANK YOU! **

**Me: Shut it Rox, because I can explain how my day went! .-.**

**Roxas:-Shuts up- **

_I'm going crazy I swear._

**DISCLAIMER**: You guys know the drill. Why do I keep putting a disclaimer? They world may never know ;D

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><p><strong>~Kaoru's POV~<strong>

***Flash Back***

_Tamaki sat next to Hikaru. I opened my eyes and looked at him. I saw him look at my arm then he looked at me,_

_"So Kaoru, How long have you been cutting your arm?"_

_I noticed Hikaru's eyes widen and he looked at me,_

_"You have be cutting yourself Kaoru? Oh My God why? And I thought scratching up your chest was enough!"_

_I sighed and closed my eyes again. Seems like Hikaru wasn't the one who asked the maids to bandage me up. I guess Hikaru didn't know that I cut myself either. Relax time was over, now for the more serious questions. Great._

***End***

I thought for a few minutes then I slowly opened my eyes and sat up. I looked at Hikaru, then at Tamaki, then back to Hikaru. He should know why I was cutting myself. It was the exact same reason I scratched up my chest last night. The pain that Hikaru caused me was the reason that I hurt myself. That was the only reason why. Nothing else could make me do something like this. I normally can handle things pretty well, but when Hikaru said something that drove straight through my heart like a knife, I couldn't handel it. So that' why I began to cut myself. It actually took all the pain away. I remember when I watched my blood go down the drain, I thought it felt like all my worries and pain were running down the drain with the blood. For some reason I always felt it felt nice, so even when I was happy I would continue to cut myself. It's weird I know, but it was really relaxing at times.

I was pulled out of to the now extremely worried Hikaru slightly shaking me,

"Kaoru! Seriously! Why have you been cutting yourself?"

I slightly glared at him.

"Hikaru you should know! _Your_ the reason that I hurt myself. The things you say pierce straight through my hearts like daggers. So you know what? I cut myself to escape all the pain that _you_ cause me!"

I quickly got up and walked away from the now shocked Hikaru Tamaki and Honey-senpai. I stormed upstairs and into the room that Hikaru and I shared. I slamed the door and locked it quickly. I'm not really sure what pissed me off, but all I know is that I pretty god damn pissed. I made way to the bathroom while carefully undoing the bandages on my arm. Once I walked into the bathroom I quickly found the small knife that I clevery hid in the medicine cabinet, since Hikaru never opens the cabinet I thought it would be a perfect spot to hide the knife. I looked at the knife then I switched my gaze to my already cut up arm. I rested my arm over the sink, and slowly brought the blade of the knife down to my skin to where it was just touching it. I took in a deep breath and brought the blade on to my skin more. I slowly moved the blade towards me and winced slightly as it cut into my skin. This cut was actually a lot deeper than my other ones, but I didn't really. I set the knife on the counter while I watched my blood drip off my arm, and go down the drain. I smiled faintly as I watched my arm bleed. It felt good. I don't know why or how, but it just felt good. I waited for a few minutes then I picked up the knife and cut my arm again. This time I didn't stop, I just continued to cut my arm until I had about 8 deep cuts in my arm. My arm was completely covered in blood. I watched my arm bleed for quite awhile, until I heard knocking on the door and a worried voice,

"Kaoru are you okay? Please let me in."

I walked out of the bathroom and opened the door. There I saw Hikaru and Tamaki. Hikaru's eyes were puffy like he cried.

_I wasn't in the bathroom for that long..was I?_

I shrugged off the thought and looked at Hikaru,

"What are you crying for?"

He sniffled and said nothing while looking at the ground. Tamaki put his hand on Hikaru's shoulder and looked at me,

"Kaoru we have no idea what Hikaru did to upset you but he wants you to know that he's sorry for whatever he said or did to upset you."

I glared at the both of them and sighed frustrated,

"Well you know Tamaki if Hikaru was sorry he should say so himself instead of being a baby and having you speak for him."

Hikaru looked up from the ground and he glared at me,

"Well excuse me Kaoru. At least I was being nice and trying to apologize unlike you."

I smirked and looked back at him,

"Why should I say sorry Hikaru? I've done nothing wrong?

Tamaki looked at the both of us and stepped in between us and he glared at me,

"Kaoru why are you being such a dick? Can't you see you actually hurt Hiakru?"

I laughed a bit mockingly and smirked at him,

"Tamaki does it really look like I care? He hurts me all they time yet I deal with it. So maybe he should man up a bit."

Tamaki just glared at me and said nothing. I smirked and walked past them. As I passed Hikaru I leaned and whispered in his ear,

"Man up."

I smirked and walked away from him, I wasn't to far away from Hikaru until I was pulled back. I turned around to see Tamaki glaring at me. I looked at him confused and opened my mouth to say something, but before I could say a word Tamaki raised up his hand and slapped me. I winced and fell to the floor. My cheek stung so badly it brought tears to me eyes. I stood slowly and glared at Tamaki.

"Why the hell did you do that?"

He glared back me and spoke softly, I could tell he was trying to control his anger.

"Kaoru even if Hikaru does hurt you all the time cutting yourself is NOT the way to handle things. And so what if he hurts you? You should still care and comfort him! Not be a total dick like you are now!"

I sighed a bit frustrated and walked away from them while talking from over my shoulder,

"Well if he wants someone to care for him maybe he should just go be with Haruhi, because right now. I'm done."

I looked back at Hikaru and saw extreme hurt in his eyes.

_Now he knows what he's been doing to me. So I could careless if was hurt or not. I think he deserved it._

I looked away from Hikaru and walked out of the room. I made my way to my other room that had all my clothes and stuff in it. Right as I walked into the room I saw Honey-Senpai sitting on my bed. He had a serious look on his face, I let out an inaudible sigh and walked over to him. I sat on the bed. Honey-senpai didn't even bother to look at me. He just stared at the ground seriously. His eyes were covered by his hair, he continued to look at the ground then he spoke softly and seriously,

"Kaoru, We need to talk."

**~Hikaru's POV~ **

I looked at Kaoru extremely worried. Why had be been cutting himself? And for how long? Was this the only thing that he was keeping from me? Or could there be more? What else could be hiding from me? I thought we told each other everything! We were twins, and twins tell each other everything..Don't they? I tell Kaoru everything, and return I get him keeping something from me that is very important. Why would he keep something like that from me?

I looked at Kaoru with extremely concerned eyes. He slowly opened his eyes while sitting up slowly. I looked at him hoping for him to say something, but he never did. Why wasn't he saying anything? Could he be worried on what I would say if he answer my question. I thought for a few minutes still hoping he would answer, but he didn't. I let out a soft sigh and I shook him a bit. At this point I was extremely worried,

"Kaoru! Seriously! Why have you been cutting yourself?"

He snapped out of his thought, then he glared at me while saying in a low voice,

"Hikaru you should know! _Your_ the reason that I hurt myself. The things you say pierce straight through my hearts like daggers. So you know what? I cut myself to escape all the pain that _you_ cause me!"

I looked at him in total shock, as he made his way up the stairs and into our room. I heard the door slam. Right as I heard the door I instantly broke down. I slipped off the couch and sat on the floor with my knees to my chest and my arms wrapped around my knees. I buried my face into me knees and cried. I can't believe I have been hurting Kaoru for so long. I hurt him so badly that he even began cutting himself! I can never be forgiven. Never.

It took a while for Honey and Tamaki to calm me down, but after a half an hour I finally managed to calm down and look up at the both of them. Tamaki looked at me sadly then said something to Honey, which I couldn't make out to well. Honey looked at me sadly also then he left to go upstairs. I sniffled ad looked up at Tamaki who lifted me up so I was standing. I wiped my eyes and said in a soft shaky voice,

"T-Tamaki, could you tell K-Kaoru I'm sorry for whatever I did to upset him please."

Tamaki nodded and pulled me up the stairs,

"Of course, but you have to be there alright?

I nodded slowly and sniffled. I really didn't want Kaoru to see me like this. I never cried like this, and even when or if I did no one would be around to see it. Tamaki pulled me up to the room that me and Kaoru shared. We stopped and I looked at the door and knocked softly,

"Kaoru are you okay? Please let me in."

We waited for a few minutes the Kaoru opened the door. Almost instantly I noticed his arm. There were long deep cuts all over his arm, with a whole bunch on blood running down. At the sight of his arm I just wanted to craw up in a ball and let myself just fade away. More tears formed in my eyes and I quickly wiped them away. I guess Kaoru noticed and he looked at me,

"What are you crying for?"

I looked at him then looked at the ground and said nothing, while Tamaki put his hand on my shoulder and talked to Kaoru,

"Kaoru we have no idea what Hikaru did to upset you but he wants you to know that he's sorry for whatever he said or did to upset you."

I looked up slightly to see Kaoru, and he was glaring at he both of us. I looked back at at the ground why Kaoru spoke,

"Well you know Tamaki if Hikaru was sorry he should say so himself instead of being a baby and having you speak for him."

I looked at the ground for a few more minutes the I looked up at Kaoru and glared at him,

"Well excuse me Kaoru. At least I was being nice and trying to apologize unlike you."

I saw him smirk while he looked at me and said,

"Why should I say sorry Hikaru? I've done nothing wrong?

I continued to glare at him while Tamaki stepped in between us and he talked to Kaoru,

"Kaoru why are you being such a dick? Can't you see you actually hurt Hiakru?"

I heard Kaoru laugh and he smirked,

"Tamaki does it really look like I care? He hurts me all they time yet I deal with it. So maybe he should man up a bit."

I saw Tamaki glare at him, but he said nothing. Maybe Kaoru was right. Maybe I did need to..Wait no. He was the one being the baby here. He's just throwing his temper around like a 3 year old would do if he didn't get the toy he wanted. So why should i be the be who mans up? I saw Kaoru shove past Tamaki and walk over to me. Right as he past me he whispered in my ear,

"Man up."

I looked at the ground sadly and said nothing.

_Kaoru your the one who need to man up. Your just a big baby,who need to learn how to control your anger. _

I looked at Kaoru with hurt eyes, but he didn't seem to care. I looked away from him, then I looked at Tamaki who I could tell was extremely pissed at the moment. I kept looking at Tamaki wondering what he was thinking, then the next thing I knew is that he had pulled Kaoru back and slapped him. Hard. I looked at Tamaki in shock, but said nothing. Kaoru was on the ground with his eyes watering. I looked at him sadly then looked away.

_He deserved it._

Well i mean it was true. In a way he did deserve to get slapped. Maybe he would come to his senses and not act like a little kid anymore.

"Why the hell did you do that?"

I looked at Kaoru who was now standing up. His cheek was completely red from where Tamaki slapped him. In a way I felt bad for Kaoru, but then again he was being a dick. I looked at Tamaki who was completely glaring at Kaoru while yelling,

"Kaoru even if Hikaru does hurt you all the time cutting yourself is NOT the way to handle things. And so what if he hurts you? You should still care and comfort him! Not be a total dick like you are now!"

I looked at Tamaki in shock. I would have never thought Tamaki would do something like that, but he was right. Even if I did hurt Kaoru a lot, that doesn't mean he has to keep all his emotions in. It's good to talk things over before just reacting.

Once again I was pulled put of my thoughts to see Kaoru walking away while saying,

"Well if he wants someone to care for him maybe he should just go be with Haruhi, because right now. I'm done."

I turned around and looked at him. My eyes were full of hurt.

_I can't believe it. He's actually leaving me. _

Tears started to form as I took in what he just said. Once he was out of the room, I cried. I can't believe that Kaoru would leave me just like that. He also said to go to Haruhi.. WHY WOULD I DO THAT? I don't really love her. Not like I loved Kaoru. He is my life, my everything why would I let go of my world for some stupid girl? I would never ever do that! No matter how much me and Kaoru would argue I would always come crawling back to him, because I know I loved him. And for the record, I always will.

* * *

><p>Oh dang! Tama-Chan god pissed as well! Goodness pissy moods and all. Wowness xD swap of things huh? First Kaoru's heart was all crushed, and now Hikaru's heart is all smasheded xD Wonder what shall happen next :o<p>

But hey this is my longest chapter ***does a victory dance***

I feel accomplished! Over 3k words, aannddd I played Video games for like 6 hours straight. The longest I've game in forever. Maybe because it keeps my mind off..things.. T.T

So this time it was really easy to write Hikaru's POV. All sad and what not. I honestly dont see why I should be depressed over teh breakup..its actually what the other person did to upset me Wasnt it? Ugh..weee. Nao! I done..I think. OMG WHY AM I TALKING ABOUT THIS! WHYYYY? Nobody cares xD

**Roxas:-Faceplam- I thought you wouldn't have you relationship crap on here! **

**Me: T.T I know..but ugh the sadness and pain in thee heart kicked in D: D: and I'm starving D':**

**Roxas: God god women!**

**Me: T.T Reviews Please? They cheer me up. **

**Roxas: -hits- Wrap it up! Nobody cares if your happy sad starving or whatever! **

**Me: -Sniffles and hangs head in shame- Mmkay I'm done now to those of you who actually read this part.**

**Roxas: GOOD GOD WOMEN FINISH!**

**Me: Okay Okay Im Done! Thanks for reading guys. It means alot to me.**

**Roxas: FINALLY!**

**Me: T.T**

_Yupp I'm insane. Having convos with Roxas. Dear god .-. _


	9. Chapter 9

**OMG IM SO DELAYED!** God I'm sorry. I would have updated earlier[it's been what a few days? that seems like FOREVER for me], but with my cousin coming to visit, and my birthday on the 17, and school work. Yes school work. Thats what I get for taking honors english they give you summer essays and crap to do, and my really scary Kingdom Hearts obsession..I kinda forgot to work on this! ***nervous laugh*** Blame youtube and the AMAZING KH vids I found! UGH excuses excuses! I know I know. but its true I swear T~T

**Lets just say its been to dang crazy! **

So No ranting up here I'll make this painless and straight to the point.(Hopefully)

I'm working on changing my writing style, by adding more feeling bigger words and all..soo this is my testing chapter :D So** PLEASE** review and tell me if it sounds good or not.. Mmkay?

Also! To add on to the seriousness on Kaoru's POV I've decided to use Honey's real name..Just for fun. And a little of HoneyxMori ideas and stuff. BUT THATS IT! Im not gonna add a whole bunch of other couples in this. Even during summer, I don't have much time to write. Ugh.

**I HATE you honors English! And my KINGDOM HEARTS obsession** Dx

Disclaimer: This is still here..WHY?

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><p><strong>~Kaoru's POV~<strong>

"Kaoru, We need to talk."

I sighed softly while making my way over to the bed, and sat right next to the extremely scary and serious Haninozuka. Normally I wouldn't be scared of Mitsukuni, but when he's woken up, or in a serious mood it's best to avoid him at all costs. Being the best martial artist in all of Japan, he was someone you really did not want to mess with.

I looked over at him, not wanting to say a word in fear I would say something wrong, so I kept my mouth shut. The silence lasted for at least five minutes, until it was broken by Mitsukuni.

"Kaoru, What you have done to Hikaru, just now was completely uncalled for. I doubt he had any idea that he had hurt you. You did not have to go completely off on him like you did. Learn to handle things better."

I cringed at the sound of his voice. Normally he would sound cute and sweet, even when he was serious, but this time it was completely different. It was a scary different, if I haven't made myself clear on the scary part. I let a soft sigh go and looked to the seventeen year old.

"Well I bet you would have done the same exact thing, if...if you and Mori were dating and he always hurt you. I bet you would get completely sick of it like I have with Hikaru"

I noticed Mitsukuni blush slightly when I mentioned him dating Mori. I wouldn't be to surprised if they actually were. They spend almost all their time together. Even if it is incest no one would care I bet, I mean no one really judges me and Hikaru. Twincest, incest, should it really matter? Love is free. No one can tell you who you can, and can't date, and if they do well thats something to think about some other time.

Pushing all thoughts aside, I looked at Mitsukuni who had remained silent with his cheeks a light pink.

_Man he must of have taken what I said seriously...or maybe they are actually dating! I'll have to find that out another time. _

I slowly stood up while making a mental note on to find out if Mori and him were dating. As I stood up I felt a pull on my arm, so I looked down at Mitsukuni while he spoke in a soft embarrassed voice.

"I can see where your coming from Kaoru, if Takashi did that to me I most likely would go off on him also. So I understand what your saying, but you really should talk to him. From what I heard, you had made him cry. Do you think that was smart Kaoru? So please just go talk to him okay?"

He looked at me and I nodded.

"I will.."

I noticed he perked up slightly when he stood up smiling.

"Good Kaoru! But first, lets fix your arm up!"

"...My what?"

He quickly pointed to my arm, now completely covered in dried blood. I sighed while remembering that after I had fled from Hikaru, I locked myself in the bathroom.

_God why am I such an idiot? Then again I am pretty sensitive, and I bet it is a million times worse at the moment. I just had to take everything out on Hikaru. Then I escape and cut myself? I think something is deeply wrong with me. I should get help or something..Shouldn't I?_

I was shaken out of my thoughts from Mitsukuni pulling me to the bathroom. Once he had gotten me into the bathroom, he made me place my arm in the sink. I looked at him while he turned the water on. I winced in pain.

_It hurts. Oh god it hurts. WHY DOES IT HURT? Well I did cut deeper than usual this time. Oh god no no! Honey please don't use the.. OKAY OW OW OW OW! Now it hurts more! Oh my god quit it! It's clean dammit! Can't you see that dumbass! Now stop using the god damn soap!_

This is what was running through my mind while Mitsukuni was cleaning my cuts. It hurt so freaking badly I wanted to punch him. Though that wouldn't have been a good idea now would it. He would break me in half if I ever punched him. He is a pretty insane martial artist. Only a dumbass would pick a fight with him, and I mean a REALLY stupid dumbass.

After about 15 minutes Mitsukuni left for home, after throughly cleaning my arm and wrapping it. He did a very nice job to. And to think that someone that cute, but very deadly would be crafty in patching someone up. Then again, martial artists I bet would have to do this all the time..

_Good god! I'm distracting myself again! You know I'm actually pretty good at doing that. Maybe I can distract others to, that would be pretty helpful now wouldn't it? OH MY GOD! Kaoru your an idiot! Just go talk to Hikaru. I wonder if he'll even want to see me. I was a total dick. What if he doesn't forgive me? What would I do with out him? WHY KAORU WHY? Oh my god..Just walk out that door Kaoru. Your being overly dramatic. Just go talk to Hikaru, kiss and make up. And hurry dammit!_

I sighed while I had that little argument in my head. Maybe I was going crazy, maybe I did need to get help! Well that doesn't matter at the moment. I have to go find Hikaru and make up with him. I thought for another moment or two, them made my way out of the room. To my surprise Tamaki was outside of my door glaring at me.

_Oh shit I'm dead. Maybe I should do the whole distracting thing! I'm like REALLY good at it too!_

I looked up to Tamaki who was still glaring at me, so I gave a nervous smile.

"So..uh what brings you here Tamaki? And where is Hikaru?"

I saw Tamaki's expression go from angry to sad. I was completely confused.

"Tamaki what's wrong with Hikaru? Where is he Tamaki?"

He gazed at the ground for a moment or two then he eyes met mine, and he spoke softly.

"He's well..um...Trying to...uh jump out the window."

I looked at Tamaki like he was crazy.

_Jump out a window? Why would he try to jump out of a window? Is is he crazy? I mean like seriously! Wait...Oh god could he be trying to kill himself? _ _Is he serious? What I said was't THAT bad was it? Oh god why am I distracting myself again? I have to find out why and save Hikaru! Or, is it the other way around? OH MY GOD KAORU! Stop thinking and DO something!_

I nodded at my thoughts and stared at Tamaki seriously.

"Okay why the hell would Hikaru want to jump out a window?"

Tamaki looked at me slightly scared and said sadly.

"Well, um because he thinks you hate him..so yea.."

_ARE YOU SERIOUS? He took that all to heart? Shit I gotta go save him now, hopefully I wont be to late! _

I quickly thanked Tamaki and ran out of the room. Right as I ran though the door Tamaki turned and shouted.

"Oh! He's in the attic. He wanted to get to the highest part of the house, besides the roof."

I sighed a bit frustrated and made my way up to the attic. I've always hated the attic. Ever since Hikaru locked me in there for a day when we were little I've always avoided that place best I can. Sadly this time I can't avoid it. I HAVE to go in there to save Hikaru, my twin, my brother, my love. I don't want to loose him forever. He is my life, and if he dies, there is no point for me to live if I cant have my Hikaru with me.

I quickly made it into the attic. It was fairly large, so I had to be quick. I searched around for a minute, then I heard faint mumbling. Slowly I made my way over to where the mumbling came from, and there I saw Hikaru with his back to me standing right in front of the open window. Some tears slowly formed in my eyes as I walked over to Hikaru quietly. He must have heard me, because he quickly turned around and glared at me.

"Kaoru why are you here? Why the hell would of all people come here? Oh I know maybe you want to watch me fall to my death because you hate me so much. Well pull up a chair!"

I was completely shocked.

"I don't hate you Hikaru! Your just being an idiot, now please back away from the window I beg you"

By this time I was already half crying, but Hikaru didn't seem to buy it.

"Bull shit. If you didn't hate me, then why did you say everything that you did earlier? Because you hate me."

I quickly shook my head and wiped the tears from my eyes.

"Hikaru! I don't hate you!"

"Bull shit."

"I'm not lying Hikaru."

"Bull Shit!"

"Hikaru listen to me! If I didn't hate you, then why would I be up here trying to keep you from jumping out the window?"

He stood there for a few minutes thinking on what to say. After what seemed like forever, he finally spoke.

"Well..hmm I dunno_ Kaoru _you tell me why your up here, because I think your up here just to be a hero. So once you save me everyone will love you and blah blah blah."

I glared at him slightly, then let it go. Of course I wasn't here just to be a 'Hero' or what ever. I wanted to save my Hikaru! Is that so bad? I looked at Hikaru and shook my head.

"No Hikaru. I'm not here to save you to be a 'hero' I'm here to save the one who means the world to me. If I let him go now my world would completely crash, then I would have NO point and living. So believe what you want, but I'm here to save my love Hikaru."

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><p>To be continued o.o<p>

Haha sorry for the only Kaoru's POV. My mind kinda died for Hikaru..because of...Reasons .

Anywho! So yea slightly changed thee writing style..not by much though..right? So review to tell me what you think? :D

Speaking of reviews! **IMAxENIGMAx-** Im glad I know someone reads all my crazy shit xDD It makes no sense sometimes..but hey its fun xD And I glad chuuu care :D no one else in my life does . Oooohh well xD

Kay! So slower updates now. And I'm coming close to ending thisss..unless anyone thinks I should add more tells meh what I should add or whatever xD My brain is coming up short with inspiration D:

Kay done...WAIT! Any of you guys heard of Demyx Time..or The Sora show? Cause those are the most AMAZING things ever, and I waisted like 3 days watching all the vids..Im now going crazyer..

NOW IM DONE!

**Roxas: YAY!**

**ME: -Glare- **

Bai Bai alll~

~Kaoru :]


	10. Chapter 11

Finally I'm back everyone! ^^ Sorry for such the long break..I really had to put my life back in order..and ugh .-.

But yea I'm back with yet ANOTHER chapter for you! I actually had this written last week, but then my computer crashed..and I lost like 6 hours of writing and editing and such, but I've felt bad that I've like ditched this story for like..months, so I wanted to try and get it up and running again :)

I'll try my absolute best to update as quickly as I can..but life is still super crazy .-. But I will not ditch you guys again! Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and actually is still with me with this story. It means a lot to me!

Okay enough rant,

And Now what you've all been waiting for...Chapter 10!

_P.s. Ill be editing all my other chapters and old rants and such..so please bear with me ^^_

**AND SORRY FOR THE NOTIFICATION EMAIL! I uploaded the wrong thing so I had to delete it! Sorry Guys! **

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><p>Chapter 10<p>

***Flashback***

"Well if he wants someone to care for him maybe he should just go be with Haruhi, because right now. I'm done."

I turned around and looked at him. My eyes were full of hurt.

I can't believe it. He's actually leaving me.

Tears started to form as I took in what he just said. Once he was out of the room, I cried. I can't believe that Kaoru would leave me just like that. He also said to go to Haruhi.. WHY WOULD I DO THAT? I don't really love her. Not like I loved Kaoru. He is my life, my everything why would I let go of my world for some stupid girl? I would never ever do that! No matter how much me and Kaoru would argue I would always come crawling back to him, because I know I loved him. And for the record, I always will.  
><strong>*End*<strong>

I ran out of the room as quickly as I could when what Kaoru had said had finally taken effect in my heart. I really couldn't believe that he thought I was in love with Haruhi. Yes, she is a good friend and I love her like a sister, but I could NEVER love Haruhi like the way I loved my Kaoru. He is my whole life, and I honestly have no idea what I would do without him by my side. I love him too much to ever let him go, but he hates me now..so whats the point of living if I cant have the one that I love by my side? There is no point at all, so I might as well be better off dead.

I thought for a few minutes while just standing in the hallway, and I decided that I would go up to the attic. Kaoru had been so scared of the attic ever since he was a little kid, so he would never even think of going up there to come look for me. Like he would anyway, I mean he does _hate_ me so why would he come anyway?

I sighed softly as I made my way to the attic, but before I reached the stairs Tamaki caught up to me and he looked at me with his usual confused look while he said,

"Hikaru..where are you going?"

I slowly stopped walking and sighed while turning and facing him.

"Tamaki leave me alone, I'm going to do something that will cut me out of Kaoru's life forever, so he wont have to suffer because of me. So don't try stopping me because I've already made up my mind, and I don't plan on changing it."

He looked at me in complete shock and I took that advantage to make my escape up to the attic. As I figured Tamaki didn't move from where he was standing which was good, because hopefully he would stand there still staring at the stares to the attic in shock, then turn around and tell Kaoru what I was going to. But again, he probably wouldn't care anyway.

As I made my way through the attic I walked to the overly large window. I never figured out why there was a window there, but I was a great use for me now. I unlatched the lock and pushed the window open slowly hoping not to make much noise, but unfortunately the rusted-over window screeched loudly as it was pushed open. I sighed as the window made much noise, but let it go as I looked over at the edge below. For a mere few seconds I actually had second thoughts about falling to my death, but those quickly were over taken by the thought of how much Kaoru hated me.

I stared out the window for a few more minutes taking in the last scene I would see before my death. I looked around one last time before I closed my eyes and prepared to jump, but right as I was about to jump I heard rustling behind me and I sighed softly and quickly turned around wile glaring at him and saying,

"Kaoru why are you here? Why the hell would of all people come here? Oh I know maybe you want to watch me fall to my death because you hate me so much. Well pull up a chair!"

I could see the shock on his face when those words left my mouth. Did I really care? No I didn't..why? Because I bet that he is just putting on a huge act so he can be the "Hero" that everyone will praise for saving me. There is no way in hell that I'm going to allow him to be praised for "saving" me.

"I don't hate you Hikaru! Your just being an idiot, now please back away from the window I beg you"

As said said this he already started to cry. Honestly to me those look like the fake tears that we use while hosting, and he had the nerve to use them to try to convince me to stop. Wow he really is a idiot.

"Bull shit. If you didn't hate me, then why did you say everything that you did earlier? Oh I know why! Because you hate me."

Once again he looked at me in shock with tears running down his face, but I still didn't buy it, not one bit. But of course he shook his head almost instantly while wiping his eyes and saying,

"Hikaru! I don't hate you!"

Wow does he really think I'm that much of an idiot?

"Bull shit."

"I'm not lying Hikaru."

"Bull Shit!"

Man Kaoru doesn't know how to listen to his brother now does he?

"Hikaru listen to me! If I hated you, then why would I be up here trying to keep you from jumping out the window?"

I stood there for a few minutes making it seem like I didn't know what to say, but I new exactly what to say. As I said before..he's just trying to be the big hero so everyone will praise and love him for "saving" me while I'm stuck in this hell of a world ruining peoples life.

"Well..hmm I dunno_ Kaoru_ you tell me why your up here, because I think your up here just to be a hero. So once you save me everyone will love you and blah blah blah."

I noticed that he glared at me, but as quickly as he did he stopped and shook his head while saying,

"No Hikaru. I'm not here to save you to be a 'hero' I'm here to save the one who means the world to me. If I let him go now my world would completely crash, then I would have NO point and living. So believe what you want, but I'm here to save my love Hikaru."

I stared at him in shock as those words slowly began to sink in. I was the one in the wrong not Kaoru. God how retarded am I? I let my emotions run free and I let all my mixed and confused feelings get the best of me.

I slowly sank to the floor with now tears rolling down my face as I stared at the floor deep in thought.

_How could I have not believed Kaoru? The one I live, the one I trust with all my heart, I just let my anger get the best of me. How could I have ever done such a dumbass move? _

I looked up at Kaoru in tears while I barely managed to talk with out my voice cracking.

"Kaoru I'm so sorry! I should have never doubted you and said all those horrible things to you that I didn't mean. I-I let my anger and depression get the best of me and I-I'm so sorry Kaoru! Will you ever forgive me?"

He looked at me with pain filled eyes but all the pain and hurt in his eyes vanished as he nodded slowly and sat down beside me and pulled me into his lap while hugging me tightly.

"Hikaru of course I forgive you. I love you to much not to forgive you. No matter what you do I will always love you. Hikaru Hitachiin, I love you so much."

By then I already had my face in his chest and I was crying. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close to his him. I felt so weak while being babied like this, but did I care? No, because this showed me that I loved Kaoru with all my heart and I never ever wanted to let him go. Letting Kaoru go would be the biggest mistake of my life, and I have no idea what I would do without him.

For a good 10 minutes I cried, hoping to rid myself of all the wrong that I've committed in the past few days. As I slowly moved out of Kaoru's lap I noticed that he was looking at me smiling so I looked back at him rather confused.

"Kaoru..why are you smiling like that? It's kind of creepy..and unfitting to this kind of mood.."

I thought he was going to say something, but instead he grabbed the collar of my shirt and pulled my to him for a long passionate kiss. Right when our lips met I felt like I had been struck by lightning. I felt my heartbeat quicken, and I felt a tingly sensation all over. Slowly my eyes slid shut and I eagerly kissed him back, but with more force. I was deprived on Kaoru's lips. I had missed them so much, but now they once again belong to me. As quickly as it began, the kiss ended when the sounds of Tamaki was heard in the attic. Once Kaoru pulled away a soft sigh escaped my lips, but I forced a happy look on my face and turned my gaze to Tamaki.

"Can we help you boss?"

I noticed slight anger in Tamaki's eyes so slowly I stood up and walked over to him.

_Good god he is so bipolar isn't he? _

Right as I was right in front of him he grabbed me by my shirt and pinned me against the wall while glaring at me.

"Hikaru what the hell! Why the fuck do you think it is okay to go off and jump out a god damn window? How do you think Kaoru would do if you actually jumped out of the window and died? Think of others before you just act Hikaru!"

He raised his arm to punch me, but Kaoru quickly reacted and grabbed his arm.

"Tamaki! Stop! Everything is okay now! Please just leave Hikaru alone everything is okay now!"

He glared at Kaoru an held his arm up so he could get a better look at him.

"And you! How could you be okay with everything now? Are you stupid or something?"

As quickly as I could I went to help Kaoru but I was to late. Tamaki now had a grip on Kaoru's wrist and they were slowly backing towards the window. I wanted to help but that would result in a bad ending.

"Tamaki calm down! Just let Kaoru go and the both of you just back away from the window okay?"

He glared over his shoulder at while talking in a low voice,

"Hikaru just shut up okay! I won't let him fall!"

Just as he said that he lifted up his hand and let go of Kaoru's arm, and to my surprise Kaoru tumbled backwards. I watched in horror as Kaoru fell backwards out of the window. My love, my whole world was falling down to the ground to his death. I saw Tamaki's shock on his face as he watched Kaoru fall, and as quickly as I could I ran to over to the window and jumped out of it hoping I can catch Kaoru before he hits the ground.

**~*Kaoru's POV*~**

"No Hikaru. I'm not here to save you to be a 'hero' I'm here to save the one who means the world to me. If I let him go now my world would completely crash, then I would have NO point and living. So believe what you want, but I'm here to save my love Hikaru."

I noticed Hikaru's shocked looks as he slowly sank to the ground in tears. I felt bad for him, but it was true. I came came to save my love Hikaru. No matter how much I had to convince him I just had to save him, and I guess what I said was enough. I looked down at him feeling bad for him, but I decided to let him get his thoughts together.

After a few minutes I noticed Hikaru looking up at me. Once we made eye contact he spoke, but in a soft cracked voice,

"Kaoru I'm so sorry! I should have never doubted you and said all those horrible things to you that I didn't mean. I-I let my anger and depression get the best of me and I-I'm so sorry Kaoru! Will you ever forgive me?"

To be honest I agree with him. He did let his anger get to him, but that's okay. Believe it or not, but even though Hikaru is the older twin, he is a lot more childish than I am. Even though Hikaru is more childish, I don't have a problem with it. I loved Hikaru for who he is, I don't care how childish he is, I just love him so much. I couldn't stand to see him gone. I looked at Hikaru with pain filled eyes, but once I saw that he was actually crying the pain almost instantly was gone.  
>I nodded slowly as I sat down beside my Hikaru and lovingly pulled him into my lap while talking in a smooth calming voice.<p>

"Hikaru of course I forgive you. I love you to much not to forgive you. No matter what you do I will always love you. Hikaru Hitachiin, I love you so much."

Once I finished I looked down at Hikaru and noticed that he had his face buried into my chest and he was crying. I felt my heart crack a little once I noticed how hard he was crying, but all that mattered was him. If he needed to cry then I'll let him cry. I pulled Hikaru more into my lap and I let him cry.

He cried for about 10 minutes. I was happy that he probably got all of his emotions out. I looked down at Hikaru, and I guess I was smiling like an idiot because when he looked up at me he had a confused look.

"Kaoru..why are you smiling like that? It's kind of creepy..and unfitting to this kind of mood.."

I thought for a few moments of something to say, but then I got a better idea. I grabbed Hikaru by the collar of his shirt and pulled him in for a kiss. Once our lips met I felt so warm inside, and my heart was probably beating a mile a minute. I felt like I was in Heaven, I never wanted this to end. It seems Hikaru didn't want it to end either assuming from the way he was kissing me back. I tried to deepen the kiss by slowly sliding my tounge into his mouth, but right as I was about to I heard Tamaki's voice. Hesitantly I pull away from Hikaru's sweet sweet lips to find Tamaki glaring at he both of us. Before I could speak up Hikaru was already looking at Tamaki while saying,

"Can we help you boss?"

And I guess Hikaru noticed the anger in Tamaki's eyes as well, and he was slowly making his way over to him. Right when Hikaru stood in front of him, almost instantly Tamaki grabs Hikaru's shirt and pins him to the wall.

"Hikaru what the hell! Why the fuck do you think it is okay to go off and jump out a god damn window? How do you think Kaoru would do if you actually jumped out of the window and died? Think of others before you just act Hikaru!"

Before Hikaru could react Tamaki held his hand up like he was was gonna punch him, but I quickly jump up and grab his arm to stop him.

"Tamaki! Stop! Everything is okay now! Please just leave Hikaru alone everything is okay now!"

Tamaki let his grip on Hikaru go then he glared at me and held his arm up so he could look at me while yelling.

"And you! How could you be okay with everything now? Are you stupid or something?"

He sifted his arm and he now had a tight grip on my wrist. To be honest I was extremely scared as to what he would do. Slowly he was forcing me back to the open window. I looked over my shoulder slightly to see that I was extremely close to the window. I wanted to push him forward, but Tamaki is stronger than I am, so I would probably end up falling.

I looked over at Hikaru with a scared look, but he didn't seem to notice because he was staring at Tamaki. He was walking slowly and cautiously over to Tamaki while talking in a worried but calm voice.

"Tamaki calm down! Just let Kaoru go and the both of you just back away from the window okay?"

Hikaru had such a worried look on his face. I couldn't help but smile at that. That worried look showed me that he really did care for me, and that just makes me so happy when he shows his emotions. He has such a hard time with it, but when he does show them it tells me that he actually has a heart.

Tamaki didn't seem to care though, because how he glared at Hikaru said it all.

"Hikaru just shut up okay! I won't let him fall!"

Just as he said that he through his arm up in frustration, but just as he did that I fell backwards towards the window. I saw the shock and fear in Hikaru's eyes and I fell backwards. I saw that he was going to reach out to help me, but before he could I stumbled out of the window. My eyes widened as I fell to the ground.

_Well I guess this is it. There's nothing I can do now. Hikaru I love you so much, and I always will. Please my love always remember that. _

As I prepared myself for the impact I looked up at the window of the attic, and the last thing I saw was Hikaru jumping out of the window in hopes to catch up to me.

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><p>And there you have it! Although I feel this chapter was terrible..I really do.<br>Hopefully you guys enjoyed it though! I tried to make it longer to make up for all the time that I've been away..  
>Again..I'm really sorry! But I'll try my best to update quicker!<br>Thank you everyone who has reviewed, followed this story and everything! It means a lot to me. It really does!  
>So thank you everyone! And Hopefully this chapter wasn't too too bad D: I tried my best, and I didn't spend forever editing it..because I wanted to get this out quickly *sweat*<p>

Also! If you have any suggestions on if you want to see anything else happen in this fanfic please feel free to PM me or just tell me in a review! I have an ending in mind already..but I feel like twisting things up more..just for fun :D  
>So PM me or Review with any idea you have..I'm open to anything :)<p>

Much Love and Thanks to everyone :)

-Kaoru :)


	11. The REAL Chapter 11

**Blah another wait for an update. I have no excuse, but pure lack of inspiration. So from now on, it'll probably be one POV per chapt.. Just cause D: I'm sorry!**

**But on the brighter side. HAPPY late TURKEY DAY! Hopefully you didn't stuff your faces too much! That would have been, not so good :( **

**Any who! No rant, just on with the chapter! I don't have much to say anyway.**

**Although.. Review Please! They fill me with inspiration! Less reviews= really slow updates. Because I feel no one likes this story anymore T.T**

**Okay! Now I'm Done!**

Hikaru's POV

The landscape around me moved quickly in a downward motion. I was falling. Damn that Tamaki for letting Kaoru fall. Wait a minute,

"KAORU!"

I looked down below me to see my poor twin yelling and moving around to try to slow himself down. I could just see the fear in his eyes as we both grew closer and closer to the ground. Quickly I managed to rotate into a diving position so I could get to Kaoru quicker. Luckily my plan worked, and before I knew it we were falling together. Gradually getting closer and closer to the ground. I pulled my dear brother into a tight embrace.

"Kaoru, everything is going to be okay. Your big brother won't let anything happen to you. I promise. Nothing will ever hurt you as long as I'm around. I love you Kaoru Hitachiin"

Just as I finished saying that, we hit the ground. Lucky for Kaoru, I was the one who took most of the impact. I could feel the weight of Kaoru who landed right on my stomach, while I landed on my back on the hard concrete.

Darkness. That was all I could see but darkness. I was all alone wandering trying to figure out what has happened to me.

"Hello? Is anyone there?"

To my surprise I actually received an answer. Even though I had absolutely no idea where it came from, I was just happy somebody had replied to me.

"Hikaru, why are you here? Shouldn't you be with Kaoru? I bet he is worried about you."

I tried looking around to find this mysterious speaker, but sadly I ended up with just darkness. So instead I just yelled into this eerie darkness.

"I don't know where he is! I don't even remember what happened to me."

There was a soft chuckle then off into the distance a small white dot had appeared.

"Go to that light, there you will see Kaoru. Be careful though. Goodbye Hikaru."

I felt extremely confused, but I listened to what the voice told me and walked to the light. As I got closer, I could see Kaoru looking down at someone. I wonder why he is so upset.

Once I was right in front of this "light" I looked though, to see Kaoru sitting on what seemed like me. He had tears running down his face as he shook me.

"Kaoru! What are you doing? I'm right here!"

Unfortunately, it seemed that he didn't hear me. I tried yelling louder, though he still did not hear me. I finally gave up and watched in horror as some strange men came and removed Kaoru from me then placed me on what I think to be a stretcher.

"No! What are you doing?"

Again I tried yelling out to them, but it still didn't work. I tried everything to get their attention, still nothing worked. Just as I about given up the mysterious voice came back.

"Hikaru try stepping through the light, silly boy."

I looked around confused, but then I forcefully pushed myself through the light. Almost immediately the darkness disappeared and bright white lights surrounded me. As I became more used to these lights I could feel my eyes open. I couldn't see very well, but I heard men yelling somewhat appeared to be some random words. I tried moving my head, but it would move. This terrified me very much. I wanted to see my Kaoru! I wanted to know what was going on!

By this time I could see perfectly again, but there was not much to see at all. Just the open blue sky with a sprinkle of nice fluffy looking could here and there. It looked so calm and peaceful; I wish it could be like this all the time.

"Hikaru! Oh my goodness! His eyes are open! His eyes are opened!"

Have my eyes not been open this whole time? What really just happened just now? Someone please explain this to me!

I heard some men rush over to me, and then they got extremely close to my face with a flashlight. I squinted while moving my face slightly away from the light. There were gasps all around, mixed with an outburst of sobs from Kaoru.

"He can move. He's okay!"

He rushed over to me while kneeling down.

"You remember who I am, right?"

I nodded just barely, but just enough for him to see. His face immediately brightened up as he saw my pathetic nod. Some man walked over to Kaoru and placed his hand on his shoulder while switching his stare from Kaoru to me.

"Sir, you have one strong brother. I'm actually surprised he was able to pull through. Young man you should be lucky, to have survived that great of a fall."

By now I was extremely confused. Just what exactly happened after we fell?

"K-Kaoru…?"

It was extremely difficult to talk, but I needed to know just what happened.

"W-what h-happ-"

As usual he cut me off while placing a hand gently on my cheek.

"Hikaru, please save your energy. You need it. You fractured or may have even broke your spine, and slightly cracked your skull, but your spine took most of the damage. All the doctors here said you probably wouldn't make it, or if you did you would be paralyzed…"

I could see tears forming in his eyes, so with a lot of effort I slowly moved my hands up while gripping the collar of his shirt. I tried to pull him down to me, but I didn't have any strength to. I noticed Kaoru's shocked face, but he understood what I was trying to do so he leaned down lightly placing his lips onto mine.

His lips were so warm, and so soft as they touched mine. I wished he wouldn't have been so soft with the kiss, but it didn't matter. Slowly but surely I kissed him back, but to my and his surprise I kissed back with much more force. I could feel a faint smile slowly make its way on to Kaoru's lips as he kissed me again with the same amount of force.

As quickly as it started it was ended with Kaoru being forcefully shoved backwards.

"W-what?"

At that moment one of the doctors or whatever came into my sight and he looked down at me.

"Okay sir we have to move you to a hospital now."

I just stared at the man with a blank face until I tried to moved, then there was a sharp pain in my chest, then everything became pitch black once again.

**Sooo yeaa there you have it! **

**It was a bit rushed..but I still think it is pretty good. But that's why you proplr are here! To tell me if it was good or not! : D**

**I will love you forever if you review!**

**And give you a cookie!**

**But yea..what did you guys think of this chapter?**

**OH! And I'm coming on a close with this story, maybe a few more chapters..Idk. It depends on if you guys think it should end. Because I think so..and yeaa..**

**Well I'm done.**

**Try not to get trampled if you go Black Friday Shopping! D:**

**Love you all!**

**~Kaour ^.^**


	12. Chapter 12

**Woo! Chapter 12-ish! :D Thanks for all the story alerts and favorites and such! It made me happy to see those! But I will only have one POV per chapter, because I have a VERY busy life at the moment, so one POV per chappie, and one update per week, until Christmas breaks starts! XD**

**So yes. **

**Again, Thank You So Much! For keeping up with this story, and everything. All the reviews and favorite story things just make my day completely! **

**Enough Rant, on to chapter 12!**

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><p>Kaoru's POV<p>

Falling. I was falling.

Could this be a dream? No it couldn't be right, I mean I don't just start randomly falling. Wait no. I actually am falling! And it's all because Tamaki! Damn him.

I started squirming and moving in anyway possible to hopefully slow the rate of my fall down. Though of course it didn't work and I kept hurdling though the air down to the surface of the earth.

"Hikaru, I love you. If I die now, you will be the one that I will be thinking about when I hit the ground and while taking my last breath. Hikaru Hitachiin, you are my one true love." I spoke softly while realizing that I was getting closer and closer to the ground. You could see the fear in my eyes. My eyes started to water, but then quickly stopped as I saw my beloved Hikaru get closer to me.

I felt a faint smile make its way onto my lips as Hikaru caught up to me and pulled me into his arms while staying,

"Kaoru, everything is going to be okay. Your big brother won't let anything happen to you. I promise. Nothing will ever hurt you as long as I'm around. I love you Kaoru Hitachiin"

At that moment my eyes started to water. As I opened my mouth to say something we hit the ground. To my surprise I landed on Hikaru, as we hit the cold hard concrete. I heard a loud crack right when we landed.

"Oh my gosh, Hikaru!"

I sat up on him and sat up slowly. I could feel some pain in my leg but it wasn't too painful so I ignored it and gave my full attention to Hikaru. His eyes were closed, and he seemed to be breathing which was good. I tried shaking Hikaru awaked, but he was so stiff, so I immediately pulled my hands away.

"Oh god please! Hikaru you'll be okay! Please just wake up!"

Tears formed in my eyes and slowly fell down my face. I leaned down and softly pressed my lips to him hoping that would wake him up, but of course it didn't. I pulled away slowly and by this time I was full out crying. My eyes were so watery I could barely see, and my nose was so stuffed up it was extremely hard to breath. but I didn't care. All that mattered right now was Hikaru.

After what seemed like hours of just sitting on top of Hikaru crying my heart out, I heard Tamaki, and a whole bunch of other people rushing out of our house.

"They are over here! Hurry!"

I never took my eyes off of Hikaru while all these people, who I guess were doctors were trying to pull me off of Hikaru so they could examine him. I wouldn't move. I was the last thing that he saw, and I want to be the first. I felt a tight grip on my shirt and I finally looked away to look at this doctor.

"Sir, we need you to get off of him, so he could be examined for injuries!"

I sniffled and shook my head as I turned my head to look back at Hikaru,

"Just examine him, I'm not moving. Not until he wakes up."

The man sighed in frustration and yelled something out to the others, then the rushed over and examined what they could of Hikaru. I never moved away or off of Hikaru. I slowly stroked his face as a flashback had hit me.

**~Flashback~**

At this time, Hikaru and I were playing at the park, with some children of the families that our mother worked with. As always Hikaru and I were playing alone in the sandbox, at this time we were about eight or nine and we already had a very sheltered world.

We built many different sand castles in the sand. I was having a wonderful time, but Hikaru on the other hand was very tense and just staring off in to the distance, so I poked him with a shovel.

"Hikaruuu! Come on build with me! Or you can't sleep in my bed anymore!"

I laughed a bit as he quickly shaped up and began making sand castles with me. We were almost finished, when one of the other children that supposedly over heard my comment walked over to us. He kicked down the sand castle that Hikaru and I just made, while looking at us funny.

"Why do you two sleep together? Two boys sleeping together is weird! You two are weird!"

Tears began to form in my eyes as he pointed at us and yelled out at the other children about how weird we were. I was obviously upset, but I didn't want to say anything. Hikaru on the other hand stood up and pushed the boy down while he glared at him and said,

"You know what, if you had a brother like Kaoru you would do the same thing. But do you? No because if you keep acting like that you will have no one in your life that is special to you, like Kaoru is to me!"

At that moment, I knew I felt something for Hikaru, and I knew that he would always be there to keep me safe and stick up for me when I couldn't myself.

**~End of Flashback~**

As I was pulled out of my flashback I realized that I wasn't sitting on Hikaru anymore, I was sitting on some type of cot thingy. I guess I was really sucked into that flashback not to notice anything. I looked around for my Hikaru, and he was lying in the same spot, but there were a lot of doctors around him. I slowly stood up ignoring the pain that shot right through my leg. I made my way over to Hikaru. The doctors looked up at me, with what seemed like a very upset look. I felt strangely confused until one of the doctors stood up and confronted me.

"Mister Hitachiin. I'm very sorry to say, that your brother Hikaru, has suffered from either a broken or fractured spine, as well as a cracked skull. He may never recover from this."

The doctor stopped explaining, once he saw the look on my face. I had tears running down me face, but my expression was emotionless. I didn't know what to say, or what to do! I could never picture my life without Hikaru by my side. He has always been there for me, and this time I want to be there for him. No matter what happens, we are still twins, and we have a much closer bond than anyone could ever imagine.

I quickly wiped away my tears and turned my attention to Hikaru. To my surprise his eyes were open, and my face immediately lit up.

"Hikaru! Oh my goodness! His eyes are open! His eyes are opened!"

Several doctors rushed over to him, and carefully examined him. The only thing that I could see is some type of flashlight. Once that doctor moved I could see that he was shining the light in Hikaru's face. I saw Hikaru squint and then he moved his head slightly trying to avoid the light. At the sight of him moving, tears began to fall. Not from sadness, but from happiness. I was so happy that he could move! That's a sign that he could recover quicker than I thought! More tears fell and I sniffled and managed to choke out,

"He can move. He's okay!"

I quickly made my way over to him, while I knelt down next to him.

"You remember who I am, right?"

I saw him nod slightly in an attempt to answer my question. At the sight of his nod, I felt a wave of happiness run through me. He can move, he can respond to questions! I was so happy! I couldn't have believed that he would recover this quickly! Just as I though that another doctor walked over and placed his hand on my shoulder. I didn't eve bother to look at him, while he said,

"Sir, you have one strong brother. I'm actually surprised he was able to pull through. Young man you should be lucky, to have survived that great of a fall."

I smiled and nodded slightly, Of course I do! Hikaru is strong. He can almost do anything, in my opinion.

"K-Kaoru…?"

I looked down at Hikaru with a blank stare. I was extremely surprised that he could talk.

"W-what h-happ-"

I smiled softly while placing my hand gently on his cheek

"Hikaru, please save your energy. You need it. You fractured or may have even broken your spine, and slightly cracked your skull, but your spine took most of the damage. All the doctors here said you probably wouldn't make it, or if you did you would be paralyzed…"

By the time I finished explaining again, I already had tears forming in my eyes. Just the thought if Hikaru being this injured because of me just broke my heart. I don't see how he could ever forgive me at this point. I've caused him so much pain, I honestly don't see how he can still forgive me, better yet love me.

I felt a slight tug on my shirt, and I looked down at Hikaru. I knew right away what he wanted, so I leaned down to him gently placing my lips on his. I tried to keep this kiss soft, because I didn't want to put to much force on him. Though to my surprise he kissed me back with a lot more force than I expected. I smiled faintly and kissed him back with an equal amount of force.

I could feel a blush slowly making its way across my face as I attempted to deepen the kiss, but I was forcefully pulled back away from Hikaru. Some doctor stood by Hikaru and I glared at him while Hikaru said,

"W-what?''

I saw the doctor's cold expression while he said,

"Okay sir we have to move you to a hospital now."

I sighed softly, as I stared at the doctor, then I looked at Hikaru who was trying to get up.

"Um, Hikaru, that isn't a really good idea!"

Unfortunately I spoke to late, because there was a loud crack then Hikaru fell back, unconscious. I quickly got up to go help him, but again I was pulled back. As I turned around I could hear a women's voice,

"Hello Kaoru."

I quickly turned around to see that my mother had a firm grip on my wrist. I glared at her slightly while speaking in a low voice,

"Hello, _Mother_."

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><p><strong>Holy goodness what just happened? Hika and Kao's mom comes in? This could never be good! <strong>

**But I'm in the middle of finals, so the next chapter should be posted within a week! I hope..**

**I've been distracted with cosplay… D:**

**But I hope this chapter was okay! Again thanks for the Story Alerts, Reviews, and Favs. They inspire me to write more! So thanks for reading!**

**Much love!**

**~Kaoru**


	13. Chapter 13

**Blah slow update again! I've been wasting my time on Gaia, and working on my cosplay that was inspired by ladyblanc! Her stories are lovely! At least I think so xD**

**So, Sorry Everyone! I'll try to update quicker! I promise! I really have nothing to say up here, Just thanks for all the story alerts and everything! **

**OH! And I probably won't update before Christmas, sooo**

**Merry Christmas Everyone! I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season!**

**And now here is my gift to you all! :)**

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><p>Hikaru's POV<p>

Darkness, again seriously? Oh wait, no there's a light, and this time I'm not talking to the creepy voice of nothingness.

I made my way over to the mysterious light yet again and stepped through it. Just as I did everything flashed a bright white, then my vision began to clear. This time I wasn't looking at the nice blue sky, but a horribly pained ceiling that was supposed to look like the sky. I sighed as I looked around and I realized that I was in a hospital room.

"K-Kaoru?"

I looked around, but there was no sign of my Kaoru. I began to worry, but I quickly let it go, because I knew he was okay. Hopefully I haven't worried him too much. I wonder what mom would think about what happened with everything. Of course I could never tell her that I was in love with Kaoru that would just be a nightmare. I love our mom, I really do, but she is really weird when it comes to the whole gay relationship thing. I wouldn't blame here thanks to Grandma and Grandpa. Oh whatever I'll have to tell her one-day, if Kaoru and I become more serious.

I closed my eyes and lost my thoughts of my future, that hopefully Kaoru. I wanted to move to some place nice either in the beautiful snow, or where there is sunshine all year and the beaches are beautiful. Even if we can't go to either of those places, as long as I'm with Kaoru I'll be forever happy.

I thought about our future for quite awhile, until a heard a knock on the door and a doctor walked inside. I looked at the doctor for a moment or two, and then he walked over to my bed and sat down on one of those rolling stool thingys.

"Hitachiin Hikaru. Is that's correct?"

I gave a slight nod while he looked at me then immediately wrote something down on the clipboard that he was holding.

"So it seems that you only fractured your spine. Which is good, but the damage has temporally paralyzed a good portion of your body. You should be back to normal in a few hours. We have done everything we can to take care of your spine, but there wasn't much we could do. Do you understand?"

I gave another nod and spoke slowly,

"E-excuse me, but what hospital am in?"

He gave me a confused look, while clearing his throat and sitting up straight,

"You sir are in one of the exclusive Ootori, private hospitals."

I sighed deeply and closed my eyes. That's exactly what I needed, Kyoya jumping on this situation. I opened my eyes and looked at the doctor,

"Could you please not send out my situation out to the Ootori's? I would rather not have them know that I'm here."

He nodded and quickly made a note of that and stood up,

"Alright before I go, Mr. Hitachiin, I have to check up on how quickly your parlays is receding. Now if you could please move each of your fingers like so."

The doctor gave me an example how he wanted me to move my fingers, and I copied him exactly without problems. He quickly noted something down then he looked up at me again while saying,

"Now please try to roll your writs like so."

Again he exampled how he wanted me to roll my wrists, and again I copied his movement without problem. We did this for quite awhile until I had trouble rotating my shoulder. I had trouble with that on both arms. After he was finished checking up on me he stood up and left the room.

"Finally, some peace and quiet, but I wonder where Kaoru is. I would have thought that he would've come by already. Oh well, maybe I could get some rest."

I gave a soft sigh as I closed my eyes in hopes to fall asleep. Just as I was on the brink of sleep I heard my door open, along with someone walking in. I woke up more, but I kept my eyes closed. The person walked over to my bed and I felt them sit on the edge and sigh.

"Oh Hikaru, you did all of this to save your brother. That was so sweet of you, but I saw what happened afterwards. Hikaru, I know your close with your brother, but how could you? You know how I feel about those things. You also know my consequence don't you? If you do I wouldn't go through with this Hikaru. You know what will happen. Well, I've said enough I should let you rest my sweet sweet boy."

I thought for a moment, and then I realized who was talking. What was my mother know I was here, how did she know what happened? What exactly what did she see after, did she see Kaoru and I kiss? Oh god if she did we are both screwed. Oh god this is a huge problem!

I felt her stand up and I heard her walk out to the door and open it. Just before she walked out I heard her sigh and say,

"Hikaru, if there is really something going on between you and Kaoru you better tell me how serious you are about all this."

She walked out of the room and closed the door and my eyes shot open and I looked at the door in fear. If she really did know something then Kaoru and I will have to tell her right away. I know she probably won't accept us, but she has to know. Plus what if Kaoru and I are serious about this relationship, then she has to know! Oh whatever I'm going to get some sleep, hopefully by then I can actually move.

I closed my eyes and drifted into a deep sleep. Dreading what will happen tomorrow.

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><p><strong>Blaaah I feel like this was rushed, but I wrote it in a matter of an hour..ugh.<strong>

**Any who what did you guys think? Was it bad horrible rushed amazing? You should like let me know! Because I really don't know how I'm doing..**

**Again thanks to everyone who has reviewed and everything! If only I could give you guys cookies or something!**

**So um Happy Holidays to everyone! I hope you have a safe Christmas and New Years!**

**Be safe everyone!**

**Love,**

**Kaoru~**


	14. Chapter 14

**Happy New Year everyone! I hope you had a safe new years! School has started for me again, so now I will be much more organized! I didn't update as much as I wanted to over my break and I'm sorry! D: I have to stop working on cosplays .-.**

**But here is another chapter for youu~**

**I hope you enjoy!**

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><p>Kaoru's POV<p>

"Hello Kaoru."

I quickly turned around to see that my mother had a firm grip on my wrist. I glared at her slightly while speaking in a low voice,

"Hello, _Mother_."

She gave a faint smile and let go of my hand while I turned my gaze back to Hikaru. The doctors were carefully moving my Hikaru on to some stretcher type thing with wheels. My mother cleared her throat, and I turned around and stared at her.

"Is there something you need mom? I thought you weren't supposed to be home until later tonight."

Her smile faded as she looked over at Hikaru then back at me.

"I received a panicked call from Tamaki while I was at work. He told me that you had fallen out the attic window and Hikaru jumped to save you. I was worried, so I rushed home immediately. Kaoru, why did you go to the attic, I know how you're not very fond of that place."

I sighed and stared at the ground while speaking in a low voice.

"Hikaru and I got..in a fight, and I wanted to just get away from him. Nothing more than a simple hiding place, but Hikaru and I made up, so don't worry."

I noticed that my mother's mood changed completely when I said that. Her expression had a mix of depression, anger, and disappointment.

"Kaoru, I'm glad you and Hikaru made up, but you have some explaining to do."

I looked at her confused, but I knew exactly what she was talking about. There's no doubt she saw Hikaru and I kiss.

"What else is there to explain? I told you everything already."

Her eyes met mine, and her eyes were filled with disappointment.

"No Kaoru. Why were you and Hikaru kissing? You know how I feel about things like that! Plus your brothers! How could you even begin to think about kissing your brother?"

I closed my eyes and sighed.

"Mom, there are a lot of things that you could never understand. You would never know how my, or Hikaru's life has actually been. You were never there for us. We had each other, in our own little world. If you spend so much time with one person that is always there for you you tend to fall in love. But you wouldn't know that, would you mother?"

I opened my eyes to look at her. She was in shock. Her expression was blank, but her eyes looked so confused.

"B-but Kaoru.."

I sighed.

"But nothing. I'm in love with Hikaru, and there is nothing you can do about it. Now, if you excuse me I would like to follow that ambulance to the hospital."

Before she could say anything else I walked past her to the front of the house. I walked to Hikaru and I's limo. Almost immediately the driver walked out of the mansion and opened the door for me.

"Where to master Kaoru?"

I got into the limo and looked at him.

"Just follow that ambulance. Make sure we stay close behind it. Understood?"

The driver nods while he closes my door. He made his way to the front of the limo and got in and started the limo and drove off as the ambulance mad it's way away from the mansion.

As we followed the ambulance I lost myself in thought.

_I can't actually believe that mom saw us kissing. I bet she will kick us out or something. She hates gay relationships, and it doesn't help that Hikaru and I are twins. That's, like twincest right? Whatever, I'm in love with Hikaru, and that's all that should matter! She could hate us for all I care, as long as I have Hikaru I wont need anything else ever. I could loose our inheritance for all I care! Hikaru is the only thing that I need. _

_I hope he id doing okay. This is my entire fault; I didn't want him to save me. I should be the one in the ambulance right now with the fractured back. Hikaru, I am so sorry!_

Before I knew it, we had arrived at the hospital. Hikaru had already been taken inside. I quickly opened the door to the limo and runs through the emergency room doors. To my surprise Kyoya was standing in my way and I ran straight into him.

"Kaoru, don't you know better to run in a hospital."

I backed up from him and looked around.

"Yes, you have told me that, but where is Hikaru? I need to make sure he will be okay!

I heard him sigh, as he pushed his glasses up.

"Kaoru, he will be perfectly fine. I had our finest doctor examine him. I assure you that he will be okay. There is no need to worry."

I looked at him and smiled.

"Thank you Kyoya Sempai."

He went to say something, but before he could I hugged him tightly. I felt him stiffen up and push me away.

"Hikaru should be in his room by now, you should go check up on him. His room is just down the hall, and the last door to your left."

I smiled and nodded, then walked past him. I made my way down to the end of the hall and stood in front of Hikaru's room. I looked through the window in the door, and I saw that Hikaru was sleeping so I quietly opened the door and walked in. I walked over to Hikaru's bed. He looked so peaceful. If only he could stay this peaceful forever. Once he recovers, I know mother will be sure to get right on his case about us.

I sighed softly as I gently stroked his face.

"Hikaru, I love you. I'm sorry for all the trouble that I have caused. I never meant for any of this to happen. I should be in your place. Why did you have to jump out the window just to save me? I didn't want you to get hurt! Damn you. Hikaru, please next time just don't save me.."

I leaned down to give him a soft kiss, and then I quietly exited his room closing the door behind me. I stood outside his door for a while the decided that he needed some get well flowers. So I walked back outside to the limo and asked the driver to the nearest flouriest. He nodded and quickly stared the limo and drove away from the hospital.

After about 10 minutes we arrived at the local flouriest. I stepped out of the limo and walked inside. The lady at the counter smiled and welcomed me. I smiled and nodded, as I searched for a nice rose bouquet. After a few minutes I found the most beautiful bouquet, and I quickly picked it up along with a vase and a card, then walked to the counter. The lady looked at me as I put everything on the counter.

"Is that everything today sir?"

I gave a quick nod and pulled out 100 dollars out of my pocket and handed it to her.

"Yes, and keep the change. I'm in a hurry."

She looked at me shocked, then she quickly rung everything up and arranged the roses in the vase.

"You girlfriend must be one lucky girl."

I picked up the vase and the card and looked at the lady.

"Actually, I don't have a girlfriend. These are for my brother, now if you excuse me."

I turned around and walked out of the store, and quickly got into the limo. The driver quickly drove back to the hospital. As we pulled up to the ER I could see my mother walking inside.

"Oh this cant be good, I should just wait here until she leaves."

I watched her walk inside, but just before she walked through the doors, I saw her look back at my limo, and it looked like she had been crying.

"Dammit, that's not good. Not at all."

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><p><strong>Goodness. To think I made it all the way to chapter 14. I never assumed I would get this far.<strong>

**Thank you to GoPlayInTrafficxoxo, smiles811998, 27, and AngelGirl0200 for the reviews~!**

**They made me happy :3**

**And thank you to everyone who has reviewed in general!**

**Their mother's plan is a secret! ;o I'm not saying anything :3**

**Remember~ Reviews are loved and welcome~!**

**Much Love~**

**Kaoru : )**


	15. Chapter 15

**No rant here, Straight to thee chapter~**

**Review replies below :)**

**Sorry for lateness again! I've been working on a 10-page paper and school has been a major killer + Drama D:**

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><p>Hikaru's POV<p>

It was probably around 3am, and I was wide awake. Sleeping in hospitals always creeped me out. Especially when you're all alone. It was also weird not having Kaoru sleeping next to me. Hopefully soon I will be able to sleep with him again. He is always so cute when he sleeps…

Slipping out of my thoughts I slowly sat up, trying to be careful because of my back. After a good five minutes I knew I could sit up straight properly, the real question is can I walk and stand. My hung over the side of the bed barely touching the floor, this bed is so tall, I wonder how I would get back on. I stared at the ground, barely making it out due to the darkness. I nervously lowered myself onto the ground and pushed off the bed so I was standing. I was a bit wobbly but I was standing. That's a good sign.

The next challenge is to walk. I slowly took one step forward, then another, and another. Before I knew it I was walking. I felt proud of myself. Even with a fractured spine I could move, and everything. I walked around my room for a while, making sure I wouldn't just randomly collapse.

After roughly two hours there was a knock on my door. By this time I was sitting back on my bed completely lost in my thoughts, so I didn't notice the knock. The door opened slowly and my doctor walked in.

"Mr. Hitachiin, what are you doing awake? Has your back been bothering you?"

Even after he spoke I still didn't notice him. I just stared at the ground thinking about what I would say to our mother. I wondered if she had approached Kaoru already. Oh god she could have said such terrible things to Kaoru. We will just have to talk to her when..

"Mr. Hitachiin!"

I jumped a bit then looked up to see my doctor standing right in front of me.

"Mr. Hitachiin, I have been told you have been walking around your room. Is this true?"

I stared at him blankly and nodded.

"Sir, as your doctor I must inform you that walking around with a fractured back it not a wise idea. You need to rest."

A soft sigh escaped me and I closed my eyes.

"I wanted to go ask for some meds, because my back was part on the reason why I wasn't able to sleep. I guess I got carried away with the fact that I could walk and I forgot. Sorry."

He sighed and shook his head while walking out of my room, then returning with two rather large pills and a bottle of some fancy looking water.

"Just take these and you should feel better and fall asleep in no time."

He placed the pills and water on the nightstand, then made his way out of my room.

I lay back down on my bed while staring at the pills. I didn't really want to take them, but I should since my back was actually starting to bother me. So reached over and grabbed the pills and the water. I put them both in my mouth and took a rather large sip of water. I managed to swallow the pills quickly. After only a few minutes I was already half asleep. I was trying to fight sleep, but in the end sleep won and I fell into a deep sleep once again.

Hours passed before I woke up. When I finally managed to open my eyes. The sun was high in the sky. It was roughly about 2pm, and Kaoru was actually standing by the window looking at the city below. I looked over at the nightstand and there was a nice bouquet of roses as well as a card. I smiled while picking up the card and reading it.

"Awe Kaoru, you so sweet."

He quickly turned around, and his eyes were a bit puffy and red. He quickly wiped his eyes and walked over to me. I knew right then that he had been crying.

"I'm glad you finally aw-"

"Kaoru, why have you been crying? And don't you dare tell me that you haven't been crying. I know you have."

He closed his eyes and sighed.

"Hikaru, I had a talk with mom today."

My eyes widened a bit as I stared at him with some fear in my eyes.

"Kaoru, what did she say? What did you guys talk about?"

He sat next to me and took my hand. His hand was shaking a bit, so I slowly caressed the top of his hand with my thumb to help relax him a bit. As I hoped he relaxed a bit, but his voice was still shaky and rasp when he spoke.

"She doesn't like the fact that we love each other, but we already guessed that. She said that she will try to accept us as a couple, but she doesn't want to interact with us that much anymore. Not that she really does anyway. Any who, so basically she wants barely anything to do with us. No family dinners, no going out in public with her. Hopefully this is just until she becomes more comfortable around us. She's even considering of moving us the second mansion, because of how uncomfortable she now is around us."

My eyes watered a bit as he explained all this to me. It was so overwhelming. How could our mother be that hateful? To move us to the second mansion? Its not like we plan to make her that

"Hey Kao. Do you think we can manage to get mom to understand how much in love we are? I mean, maybe we can both talk to her together, and maybe she will accept us if we just explained everything to her."

Kaoru opened his eyes and he looked at me sadly while shaking his head.

"Hika, no she won't listen. I already tried to explain to her how much I love you and what you me to me. She just didn't want to hear anything about that. Just be calm and everything will work out somehow. Just don't worry Hika, and remember that I love you."

I smiled faintly then lay back down while pulling Kaoru next to me. He looked a bit surprised but lay down willingly and I wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Kao, I love you too. Never ever forget that okay?"

He smiled faintly and nodded.

"I promise I won't. But enough about the deal with mom. How are you? You must bee feeling better. Oh! And you can move now! That's good!

He smiled. His smile always made me smile so I ended up smiling too.

"I do feel much better! And it's all thanks to Kaoru's love."

I kissed him slowly while poking him in the stomach. He giggled a bit as I pulled away and I smiled.

"Your so cute Kaoru. You really are, and you are so childish sometimes. I just love it."

He blushed slightly as he buried his face in the cook of my neck.

"Hikaru, stop it."

I smiled faintly while closing my eyes and resting my head on his.

"Kaoru I only tell you the truth, you're just so cute and just. Perfect. You're everything I could have ever asked for and more Kaoru. I love you so much Kaoru Hitachiin."

I couldn't see his face but I knew he blushed more. I could feel Kaoru relax as he took a deep breath.

"Hey Kao, I want you to stop worrying so much. I will take care of everything okay? I don't want you to worry about mom or anything. Just take care of yourself and I will make sure everything turns our okay."

I heard him sniffle as he mumbled something against my neck.

"Hikaru, I want to get through this together. This is our problem we need to get through this together. We need to stand together and face whatever stands in out way."

I opened my eyes then I slowly pulled his face up to mine and slowly brushed my lips against his.

"Kaoru you're so amazing. I love you, so much. I love you with all my heart and soul."

Before I managed to actually kiss him the door opened and Kyoya walked into the room.

"Excuse the intrusion you two, but Hikaru your doctor had some business to attend to so I took it upon myself you discharge you."

I heard Kaoru sigh softly then he got up off the bed and walked over to the window as I sat up slowly and looked at Kyoya.

"How did you know that I was here?"

I saw him smirk as he pulled out some papers.

"Hikaru have you forgotten that this is my families private hospitals? I keep track of most of the patients that come through here in my free time. How could I not know that you are here Hikaru?"

I sighed and closed my eyes.

"Okay. Okay. What do I have to do before I can leave? I'd like to go home."

As always there was a devious smirk as he talked.

"Just sign these papers and you can go."

He handed me some papers and I opened my eyes and took the papers. I scanned through the papers and filled out everything that needed to be filled out with the pen that Kyoya handed to me a well. It took about ten minutes to fill out everything then I handed the papers back to Kyoya.

"Okay I finished them now can I go home?"

He was reading though all the papers and he nodded.

" You are free to go, but you mother told me to tell you that you should not return to the main house tonight. She wants to think things over about you two before she acts."

I could feel my blood starting to boil, but Kaoru somehow noticed so he walked over to me and took my hand.

"Thanks Kyoya."

He nodded and left the room and I slowly slipped out of the bed and stood up.

"Okay Kaoru. Let's go..To our second home.

He nodded as he led me out of the hospital to the limo. Just as we were about to get into our limo I spotted our mother staring at us in such a disappointed manner.

With that look I knew we were gonna have some bigger problems on our hands.

* * *

><p><strong>Blaah I took to long to edit this. And I still think its pretty Bad. :(<br>**

**I've been stressed lately with a lot of drama and school.. D: Sorry everyone! Freshmen bringing me into their drama. Ugh :(  
><strong>

**Review Replies-**

**- Thanks for the info! I'll remember that! Thanks for the review!**

**Traffic- Sadly yes. I but it adds drama so yea :3**

**Smiles- I'm glad you two enjoy it! It brings me joy when others share with their friends. Hope you guys like this chapter!**

**Hopefully things will chill out. If not pray that I can get something out before next month.**

**Thanks everyone!**

**Much Love!**

**-Kaoru**


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